He’s off on holiday AGAIN, and every time he goes I find I hate him a little bit more!!
For me, the idea of holidaying without him has me in tears (regardless of where I am) and I can’t bare the idea of not exploring the rest of the world with him. I loved finding new forests to walk in, rivers to swim and and generally relax under the stars with a glass of wine after a lovely day of firsts. Even now the idea of doing this without him KILLS ME! I’m not talking a mild upset, it brings tears to my eyes and I genuinely have no holiday plans for the near or distance future because it just hurts too darn much.
He, it would appear, does not have this same problem. The weekend I moved out, he left for a weeks holiday with the lads and since then I have had a few texts about either looking after BD when he is away or me not being able to see him when I would like because they are away. He’s been camping, he’s been skiing. In fact he went skiing in the resort we visited together and thought it would be lovely to send me a picture message of the picnic spot where we spent an afternoon lazying in the sun. (To any men out there who has recently broken someone’s heart – that is not a good idea!!!)
I am trying to get on with my life. I do not want to spend my life alone but even now I am missing him so much it hurts and I think about him, wonder about what he is doing almost every minute of every day.
However, when he does something insensitive and stupid, like booking another “how amazing is my life without you ” holiday, I find a little bit of me starts to hate him.