I can’t help but worry that this is what’s happening to me at the moment. You see, me getting my own place has lit a fire underneath my sister and her boyfriend and they have suddenly decided that they have had enough of their rented house and so would like to get a place of their own. I can completely understand where they are coming from, and I genuinely do hope they find their own little place soon, but there is a part of me that feels like my thunder is being stolen and part of me thinks does she have to have everything??? She has the functioning, we’re going to get married and have babies relationship does she need the dream house right now too?
What I have been through I wouldn’t wish on anybody. Having the guy you were hoping to marry kick you out while your planning a forever after not only rips your heart out but does a pretty good job of totally fucking with your head as well. Especially if you are still having counselling as a result of the work place bullying and mind games. But there is part of me that looks at her and can’t help but think that she has it all, and she’s about to have even more.
It literally started the evening I had completed. They came round to see my house, but quickly the conversation moved onto the two new houses they were viewing that week. Tonight my folks were hoping to come and help with further work around my house and celebrate the installation of my new wood burning stove but instead they are having to go and view houses with the two of them.
I know it shouldn’t matter. I talked to my dad and he pointed out that even when they get their place, I have bought mine alone. I am renovating it single-handedly, and they are both immensely proud of me for doing this. But I know there house is going to be bigger, that people will stop talking about my house, my achievements and suddenly their house will be the new topic of conversation.
Selfishly, when I feel like such a failure having my house move glossed over is making me feel very much like my thunder is being stolen and I don’t like it!!
They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!!
It seems to me that although she may appear to have a lot, she doesn’t feel content – or she wouldn’t feel the need to copy you.
I know we are all guilty of looking at someone else and thinking they have it better. But right now it does feel as if she has everything I have ever wanted.
However, I am trying very hard to focus on what i have got! Plus I’m doing it all alone and that’s still pretty amazing, and I don’t have to compromise!!