DIY blues

I feel like a failure,and I can’t fully understand why. This,weekend I accepted,some help with my house and I had a couple of people up to help me out (besides my folks who have been up every weekend since the word dot) anyway I know they were all there to help me out but as I set them.on various tasks finishing off jobs I had started but not quite finished yet, like sanding down skirting boards which I’ve stripped the paint off I felt like a failure. You see I’ve started all the jobs but I haven’t finished them. I can no longer look at the bit of skirting and think I did that, because I didn’t.

The problem is as this is dragging on my parents are becoming more tired and me moving out is becoming a bigger thing in my mind and I’m starting to panic about it. I was supposed to have been in my house months ago, getting in so I could have summer evenings to get our into my garden, walk bd and explore the area was the plan. But the rush to move me in is making me doubt my ability to commit to anything as I cherry pick jobs and also this is my house my mountain to climb. If it takes,a little longer because I want to.climb it alone my way does it really,matter?

My folks have suggested a paint party, and I’m really torn. Part of me loves the idea of friends and family having a laugh and helping me build my home but part of me wants to achieve this alone to do it my way to prove I’m not a complete failure but with my dad putting together the cistern in the toilet without me I worry that boat has,already sailed.

6 thoughts on “DIY blues

  1. I understand the desire to do things for yourself, but accepting some help doesn’t make you a failure. You’ve done loads and there will still be stuff to do once you get it to a state where you can move in.

  2. Clowie is right. There is nothing wrong with accepting a helping hand. Here’s what I think, if you have a bunch of people over to help, once it’s all finished and you have moved it, you can sit there and think of all the people who love you so much, they helped make your dream come true. 🙂

    • It was lovely having people up to help, but I am still loving the looking around and been amazed that I did all this myself thing, and with every job that is done by someone else I can’t say that any more. I know it sounds crazy but I worry that by saying “i will do this alone” but then not, I have given in and let laziness take over and I worry I have a tendency towards laziness and that when I get my own place I’ll just blob about in my chair doing nothing.

  3. Oh my, yes, Clowie is spot on…accepting help is allowing friends and family to feel warm and fuzzy having been able to help someone they care for. There will be lots of special touches you will do for your home, all by yourself. But for now, the goal is to BE in your home. You can do this and you are NOT a failure in any way whatsoever! Warm hugs, Linda and Savannah

    • thanks guys. I think part of the problem is I’m sort of coping with the ‘it’s over thing’ and can manage daily life ok, I’ve learnt to accept the ‘we will never be together again’ thing and the ‘i’m apparently really easy to walk away from’ thing. I just don’t feel ready for and worry I won’t be able to cope with the ‘well now I’m living alone, by myself full time 24/7’ thing – that freaks me out!!

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