I feel like a failure,and I can’t fully understand why. This,weekend I accepted,some help with my house and I had a couple of people up to help me out (besides my folks who have been up every weekend since the word dot) anyway I know they were all there to help me out but as I set them.on various tasks finishing off jobs I had started but not quite finished yet, like sanding down skirting boards which I’ve stripped the paint off I felt like a failure. You see I’ve started all the jobs but I haven’t finished them. I can no longer look at the bit of skirting and think I did that, because I didn’t.
The problem is as this is dragging on my parents are becoming more tired and me moving out is becoming a bigger thing in my mind and I’m starting to panic about it. I was supposed to have been in my house months ago, getting in so I could have summer evenings to get our into my garden, walk bd and explore the area was the plan. But the rush to move me in is making me doubt my ability to commit to anything as I cherry pick jobs and also this is my house my mountain to climb. If it takes,a little longer because I want to.climb it alone my way does it really,matter?
My folks have suggested a paint party, and I’m really torn. Part of me loves the idea of friends and family having a laugh and helping me build my home but part of me wants to achieve this alone to do it my way to prove I’m not a complete failure but with my dad putting together the cistern in the toilet without me I worry that boat has,already sailed.