That’s what he said to me. “It would be great to see you again because you are beautiful and I miss you”. Now before you all go into panic mode, this wasn’t the ex. No, he’s still living life like there’s no tomorrow and acting as if dating me was a major inconvenience and life has never been better – I digress! This was said to me by a male friend in response to the question ‘how are you?’
Now you might think it’s very sweet – and it kinda is. But mainly it isn’t.
Because….if I’m completely honest…. he doesn’t even know me.
We met on a course, through work, a few years ago. We have kept in contact a little through Facebook and text but that’s it. Obviously we discuss our lives with each other, although I probably share more than he does. He seemed to cut contact a little when I met the ex, but has picked it up again now I am single – which I try not to think about too much. I have tried to tell him I’m not interested in anything more than friendship. Hell on more than one occasion he has been on the receiving end of ‘I know the ex is a jerk but I want him back’ messages
He’s now asked if he can come and stay and the honest answer is I just don’t know. He’s a sweet guy, but I don’t want to spend a weekend being hit on (yes, that does make me sounds very big headed.) If I said he would like to see me, that it would be good to catch up – great, but to be told constantly he misses me. He doesn’t know me, how can he miss me??
Plus this guy doesn’t do subtle and doesn’t pick up on hints; he spent the week of the course hitting on me and even left a rose outside the door of the room I was staying in. Any other guy I spoke to during the week (and there was a few, being as I was the only woman on the course) was given the evils – something which amused them no end! I tried to subtly drop hints I didn’t fancy him, and wasn’t interested in him in that way. I tried dropping brick size hints telling him I wasn’t interested in him in that way. Hell I told him how I wasn’t looking for a relationship at that moment and encouraged him to pursue a relationship with any other woman on the planet!!!
He’s a sweet guy, and I believe you can never have too many friends, but this ‘miss me’ thing annoys me. In fact I think I’ve already had it out with him. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how we can be friends if he doesn’t listen. I would love to meet up with him, but don’t like the idea of him staying at my house.
I don’t want to cut all ties, I like having someone I can message when I am down. But that’s as far as I want this to go.
25castleson25clouds.wordpress.com 
Hmmm, he says he’d like to come stay? And you’re only interested in friendship? Sounds like a relationship that’s better off conducted in public places, like coffee shops or movie theaters.
On the other hand, you probably shouldn’t take my advice. I was once heavily pursued by a guy I didn’t think much of. He smelled funny. He was needy. He had funny hair.
Oh, and we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary a few months ago.
Staying over???? No,no, no. We agree better somewhere public and where you can make a hasty retreat. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly
Yeah, but how do you say yes you can travel the length of the country to see me but I don’t want you to stay over in case you’re a serial killer??! I don’t know how to put that in a text :0)
Him saying he misses you is probably his subtle way of saying he likes you. It sounds like you need to be blunt with him. Hanging out with him is just leading him on and the more you lead him on, the more difficult it will be in the long run for both of you.
I was always a little concerned that this was the case.I was very good and send him a text telling him that I would only ever be interested in friendship – I don’t know if I can say anything more than that?! I’d hate to fully cut contact