So I have decided it’s time. Today I went back to the beginning of my blog, to my very first post and read (well until I ran out of time!) I wanted to see what I had told you guys about, what I hadn’t shared, how my writing style had improved… and boy were there some glaring errors!
However as I read my posts, flicked through page after page I noticed there was one common theme. I was really badly treated by my ex!
(Bet ya never thought you’d read that did you?)
I mean I wasn’t badly treated in the way some woman are badly treated, but I was living my life with a moody grumpy guy. Where one ‘wrong’ move from me would end up with me in trouble. One thing I remember he used to do was misunderstand me, but then get grumpy with and blame me for the misunderstanding. For a guy who used to boast about his conversational skills, he was actually really really bad at listening!
This thought occurred to me earlier in the week too. I sent my new fella (need to give him a name) a text which he didn’t understand. When his response came my gut told me he was mad, he was angry… but when I took time to actually read what he had written there was no such response. He was fine with it.
It’s made me appreciate even more what I have.
I need to keep reminding myself that this is a new relationship. That I am dating a new, even better, guy… I genuinely don’t know what I did to be lucky enough for him to have chosen me! He is kind, and caring and he deserves his own chance to mess up, he can’t be punished for a crime he hasn’t committed.
So I need to keep reminding myself that this is new. That this is different… and figure out a way to quiet the voices.