To begin with a massive thank you to Kristine for inspiring today’s post. I was reading along with her Real Life Confession and nodding my head in agreement. I don’t have the perfect hair issue, but I do care far too much about insignificant things. For example I have awful skin. If I look at a photo of myself all I notice are the spots or lack of if I am having a rare spot free day. My skin issues are tied to my polycystic ovaries, time of the month, drinking cows milk, stress,my skin is too oily, my skin is to dry, a reaction to something, I get used to my face wash, day of the week… and if there is a big occasion you can bet I will have a lovely hug lump somewhere on my head, front or back. Yep, not only do i get spots on my face (sometimes t-zone, sometimes cheeks and neck) but they will also appear on my shoulders, front and back usually before a planned night out so I can find nothing to wear without revealing my skin. I worry it makes me look dirty, I worry it will repulse people.
This Sunday I am going to a leaving do of an old work colleague. The problem is that the old work colleague is currently working with him and so this Sunday I will be spending a few hours with him, and a good number of his work mates. All who know that he dumped me. All who told me he was an idiot for dumping with me, but none the less all know that he wanted rid of me after living with me for months. They know that he could cope with dating me for 4 years but living with me….
To say I am nervous is an understatement and boy does my skin know it. I currently have a couple of volcanoes erupting on various parts of my face. I have had my outfit planned for at least this last week and I have booked a hair appointment for Saturday and Sunday morning will be sent buffing, exfoliating and plucking myself to within an inch of my life.
The stupid thing is these people have met me on numerous occasions. They are lovely people and will not care what I look like. Yet I feel this enormous pressure to look stunning on Sunday. To the extend that I set my alarm for an hour earlier than usual this morning and did an exercise video before going to work. I am basing my entire worth on how I will look on Sunday and I fear I will fail before I even leave the house!