So last night I got to look after BD for the entire evening – it was lovely! I loved every second and it was so lovely to feel happy for the first time in a long time!!
This morning was brilliant as for the first time in weeks I woke up and wanted to get out of bed, I showered quickly and raced downstairs to say good morning to BD. I got all his stuff together (and my rain gear) and we headed out the door – this mornings walk was amazing, I loved every second of it. BD ran around with a massive smile on his face, which was mirrored by mine. He wasn’t very good at answering the questions as to “what has OH said about me” or “do you think I’m ever coming home” well I say he wasn’t good, the look on his face and the wagg in his tail reminded me to live in the moment (Pamela you would be proud!) and I did. For a brilliant 40 minutes I didn’t worry, I didn’t cry(much), I didn’t stress back and forward about where I am going to live, what’s going to happen, I was truly happy. I was wet through, with the rain dripping off my hood and I was happy!
Unfortunately this happiness could not last all day, and it ended pretty much as soon as we got to the car – BD started to shake and wouldn’t eat the biscuit I offered him when he finally got into the boot. I am a massive panicker and that nearly had me calling in sick and taking him to the nearest vet, but I saw sense and decided to give him some time and see what happened. So having safely put BD in the boot I peeled off my wet coat and waterproof trousers and flung my phone onto the passenger seat, where it promptly fell onto the floor between the door and the seat. My five minute search for the phone achieved nothing except making me slightly later than I wanted to be setting off for work.
On pulling out of the car park for the walk, and sitting stationary in traffic for 20 minutes I had reached full blown panic attack. I raced to work and arrived only a few minutes late. I fed BD who was staying in my boot until OH was picking him up, and grabbed my lunch from my very full passenger seat to discover that my vegetable soup had spilled out of the sealed container I had put it in, into the plastic bag, onto my handbag and the passenger seat of my car.
I swore (not for the first time) grabbed up my bag, lunch and water bottle and raced into the office, where on putting everything in my arms onto my desk I promptly poured the contents of the water bottle onto myself, my desk and what was left of my lunch.
And today started so well!