What do you get when you kiss a boy…..?

What do you get when you kiss a boy…..?

Fucking Flu


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So not knowing exactly how I felt about Edward didn’t stop me from making out with him a little. We made out on Thursday last week, I went down ill Monday lunchtime – clearly the cause is his man cooties.

This will go on the lists of reasons as to why I should just give up on men, embrace dying alone and rescue many animals instead!!


On the sick

So it turns out my overshare the other day may have something to do with the fact I am now officially ill. It all started about lunchtime Monday, when I thought I was getting set to have one of my really bad time of the months (yes I do seem to be talking about these a lot recently – I do apologise for the over sharing!)

I have Polycystic ovaries, some of the brilliant side effects include having bag skin, extra weight around my stomach and irregular periods. My periods have always being heavy, and just before I got to Uni they reached a point where I was passing out from the pain and unable to walk. This was happening almost monthly (typically the one time I was regular) and had me absolutely petrified about going away from home, and coping with this almost monthly occurrence. Long story short I went to the doctors, who were crap, the advice was take this pill which will make your spots worse, your periods vanish, and potentially increae your cancer risks but hey it is a form of contraception! At the time I wasn’t in a relationship, and as I am not the sort of who sleeps around or with lots of people I kinda had the not getting pregnant thing covered! I did not take the pills, and instead went to see a brilliant homeopath who gave me some brilliant tablets and for the last few years I have been having almost normal periods.

However slowly the pain of my periods came back, it started with minor aches, then full on cramps, and has progressed to me lying in the toilets where I work passed out from pain, throwing up, wishing I was dead. This has lead to me getting a full on panic every time I get even the slightest stomach ache and a potential overshare on here.

Being very late, I know when and if my next period comes, chances are it is going to be bad, very bad. However the stomach cramps and unbuttoning of trousers I had the other day were in fact due to me having got the nasty bug that is doing the rounds. I got home from work and went promptly to bed and slept through most of the night, excluding waking up every few hours to re-heat my wheaty and apply it to my stomach or occasionally braving moving it to another part of my aching body (head, hands, feet you name it!)

The highlight of the evening came at some point early Monday morning, when while going to heat up my wheaty I passed out and was found by OH burning up on the floor. Even now I am feeling sick, and have waves of nausea sweeping over me which are only interrupted by another dizzy spell. But here is the problem I took yesterday off work, but have gone back in today, despite still feeling ill I was worried that no-one would believe that I was ill and so couldn’t take two days off….

Is this just me or do other people worry?

I’m late…. I’m late for a very important date!

Well to be honest with you, that’s nothing new… I am always late.

I once heard somebody on the radio (I can’t remember who) state that people who are late do not care about other people, that they think their time more important, and are generally horrible. This really upset me as I am always late!

I don’t do it on purpose, on the odd occasion that I am running on time or even early to leave the house, I make the mistake of trying to fit in one final job, or errand…I’ll just hang out the washing, I’ll put a load of washing on… however I am usually just running late.

The problem is if I am every anywhere early I start to panic – have I got the date wrong, the time, the location? – and if the person who I am meeting is late I check my phone at least 5 times a minute worrying that I am in the wrong. So how do I get round this worrying – I make sure I am the late one.

I have been doing it for so long, it is now a standard joke that I will turn up somewhere late (and I am ashamed every time I do) in fact my nearest and dearest have even started telling me an earlier meeting time, and even I give myself an ‘I need to leave the house now’ time which factors in me being late.

This time though I am talking about periods of time… and that period is now three months and counting… I have done multiple tests all negative. I have polycystic ovaries, and so have never been regular, and usually when they do come can be found passed out in the nearest toilet from the pain.

Usually all I need to do is become slightly worked up and that’s my counting the days for at least a week, but now I am getting slightly more worried…… It sounds horrid but I don’t want to be. When OH and I first ended it, I did have the very selfish thought of “I wish I had his child and then he would be always in my life, and I in his” but now I am worried if I am he will be guilted into coming back to me, and I want him to be with me for me not for any other reason.

This is now constantly on my mind, especially as I am currently feeling so swollen my trousers which fitted on Wednesday are now unzipped and buttoned as I am so uncomfy.


and then the dog was sick!

9 times, all over the kitchen floor and then twice more at the bottom of the stairs!!

I hated having to leave him and go to work and made OH promise he will return on home on his lunch break to check on him.

He looked so sorry for him and I hated that I had to leave him, and I hated even more that I had to say my final goodbye to him as I ran out of the back gate now very late for work having mopped the kitchen, hall, cleaned the bathroom and tried to straighten the rest of the house. The bathroom and general straightening was due to OH parents arriving at ours sometime before I arrive home from work and I am still desperate to prove to them I am capable of looking after their son.

On my drive into work I had the following enlightenments:
• I had forgotten to bring with me the invite for my friend’s wedding – needed today so I could Google the address and find out where the wedding is being held this weekend!
• The flu tablets I made the trip to the supermarket for last night (I did not want to go to the shops between Christmas and New Year, and had purposefully stocked the cupboards for this very reason) were still sat on the side in the kitchen!
• My lunch which I spent time preparing last night (unusual for me) was still sat in my fridge at home.

I have the feeling it is going to be one of those days!