The hardest word.

Today I am going to hopefully put into writing a post that has been going around and around in my head for the last few weeks. You know that good old Elton John song, which contains the lyrics “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”? I don’t know the song title, and in fact you should be significantly impressed that I know it is Elton John who song this song as it is very rare that I can tell you the artist or song title – I am worse than useless in pub quizzes! Anyway I digress (what a surprise!)

The song seems to indicate that sorry is the hardest word to say. My assumption is that it is the hardest word to say and mean, but who knows what Mr John was thinking when he wrote that song. In fact to go off on another tangent, it really annoyed me in A level music when we had to identify the reason behind every single note placement in a piece of music. I am sorry, but I do not believe that Mozart sat and figured out every single note of every single piece. I do not imagine him sat there saying “If I put this note here, the audience will think I am going to the minor chord but I can tease them an instead move onto the diminished 7th!” I imagine he was more likely thinking, “hum, I have to write an entire coronation anthem and my deadline is next week. This sounds good, let’s crack on.”

I was reading an article online the other day (I have no idea where so I can’t provide a link). to summaries it was saying that men are more successful in the work place because they are more sure of themselves. Whereas woman will say sorry for situations that aren’t even their fault, men tend to shrug the situation off and move on. I am aware that this is a huge generalisation, but when sat at work I have to admit that I see a lot of truth in what this article was saying.

You see I say sorry far too easily! Someone walks into me, I apologise. Someone kicks a box I have put on the floor, I apologise. Someone doesn’t hold the door for me, yep I apologise. (real life examples!) It has started to feel that I am apologising for living!! The problem is I’m massively shy, and when there is an awkward silence or I don’t know what to say I say “Sorry.” I have developed this habit and I hate it. I want to break this habit now but I don’t know how.

Currently I am saying sorry and then letting out this little groan of annoyance (not even slightly weird!) but I think I need a better more permanent solution. So any tips? Any advice as to what I can stay instead?