I want to get mad at someone – anyone!!

So this morning started in a pretty normal way (Well except that I was stopping the evening with my folks, and they decided to wake me before my alarm at 5.30am – a time no one should see!) But I was in a pretty good mood, you see OH has been away with work for the last 3 out of 4 weeks but today he was back for the foreseable future. I don’t sleep well when OH is not next to me (go figure, I have slept alone for 27 years and in 7 months of living with him I no longer sleep if he is not snorring away next to me??!!)

I digress! Then this morning I got a phone call from him saying work had decided he was urgently needed and he would be flying out at 4am tomorrow morning. Now here is the problem, I was gutted, I have missed him like crazy, I am tired and sick of doing things on my own! OH kept apologising and I kept telling him it wasn’t his fault (Which it wasn’t) but at the same I was annoyed. I have not planned anything for the last month because I wanted to be there for BD (as I feel massively guilty when I leave him each morning and despite taking him for massive walks I feel I am not doing enough to make up for the longer hours alone and him missing his dad!) and tonight I had made plans to go out with some friends (something I probably don’t do as much as I should!) I made the offer to OH about cancelling (although a small part of me was relieved when he game me permission to still go) but he withdrew his offer of a lift. I’ll be honest with you, I wanted to stamp my foot like a child and the phrase “but it’s not fair” crossed my mind.

However, this is work and I don’t feel like I can get mad at him. So i say it’s fine and set about changing my plans for this evening (arriving at friends early for pre-dinner drinks postponned til next time) and tried to find some fun ways to keep myself busy over the weekend so I am not spending another weekend alone.

So weekend planned, drive to meal out tonight, race through food and run home to spend some time with OH and avoid seperate rooms (a story for another time), tomorrow twilight marathon with sister, involving spending the night at hers so I can have a glass of wine (or three) to make up for missing out tonight, sunday she comes with me to a work committment and then we got to grandparents for sunday dinner (which she had already planned and I am not gate crashing)


phone call from OH, the bosses have changed their minds he is now more likely than not not going and they will send someone else. FFS now I have to race about ammending plans that I ammended only hours ago!!!!!! and the worse part is I can’t get mad at anyone cause it’s no-ones fault!

It’s my party and I will freak out if I want to!!

OMG I am having kittens, not actual kittens – that would be kinda cool! Although I am more for rescue than breed, but that is for another time!!

I am one of those people cursed with a December birthday, and this curse seems to have gotten slightly worse since meeting my OH who is also another December baby, and when did we get together so celebrate our anniversary, yep you’ve guess it, and when do we move house… point made I think?

Every year I try to hold a birthday party and every year I swear this will be my last, and every year it isn’t! I used to love my December birthday when I was younger (and I still will argue that all the best people are born in December) however since leaving Uni I am becoming less impressed, the first year none of my friends could make it because of work commitments I understood as it was their first year in a job and they wanted to fit in…. but last year when there was me, OH and one fantastic friend (who I am so lucky to have in my life) decided enough was enough! Until this year…..

One of my friends said her Christmas do was earlier this year and so she had pencilled my birthday party in for the 8th and like a fool I decided that this means I should do something. So I have spent two weeks emailing various restaurants to see if they could fit us in, trying to find something that was not too expensive, that people would enjoy, and that would cover the various dietary requirements of my various friends and family. Finally I settled on a place and asked them to book, however they did want us to preorder (which I really wanted to avoid having to organise as, as I have said I AM MOVING HOUSE THIS WEEK) and I have to pay a deposit which I really can’t afford to do for the same reason!!

However, I gave in, asked them to reserve the table and that I would confirm numbers, orders and asked how they would like me to pay – I have heard nothing since! So I decided not to freak out, and rang the restaurant today to chase them and the woman who had my phone had no record of me, but did have an Emily booked in for my table – grrr!!! – and was this me?! No i explained my name isn’t Emily or when she asked for my name at the start of the conversation I would have said Emily!!!

I am now having kittens trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do with 16 people on the 8th December when we are walking around Leeds in the rain (you just know it is going to rain) and we have no dinner reservations as an empty table sits waiting for Emily to enjoying my birthday table!

Next year I am not having a birthday party!!!!