Tomorrow night is Halloween and to be honest I am dreading it. My parents are not fans, I believe it has something to do with my dad as a milkman having to untie about a million gates on his early morning round after Halloween. But it also has a lot to do with the underlying message, while ‘trick or treat’ is light-hearted or fun basically it can be translated into ‘give me something nice or I will do something nasty to you!’ Which has happened.
I was furious the day I woke up to discover my parents house had been egged. I worried about how it made my parents feel, I wondered who had done something like this…a neighbor…a complete stranger? I felt like my house and my family had been attacked and I think it was that moment I decided I would never do Trick or Treating.
When I moved in with the ex I wondered what we would do about Halloween. In a small village would we be ostracized if we didn’t partake – turns out I had nothing to worry about. I was moved out long before Halloween made an appearance.
But this year I am not. I am alone. In my house.
Being alone in the house I hate opening the door to strangers. I have a slightly over-active imagination and no matter who is on the doorstep I wonder what I would do if they pushed their way into my house. Would I scream or would my voice dry up in fear?
The other fact of the matter is that this has been a really expensive month. I had a stupid expensive Hen do for one of my oldest friends and with a trip across the country to her wedding within the next few weeks, which includes 2 nights in a hotel, public transport costs, wedding gifts, drinks on the day, food on the other days… I’m broke. I don’t have money to waste on buying in candy or anything to just give away.
So I’m going to sit in the dark and pretend I am not in. I wish I wasn’t. In fact I am in two minds about cancelling a DIY evening with my folks and instead leaving my little house to hide at their house instead. Yep, I am so worried about trick or treating that I am fearing spending a night in my house.
I know I’m probably over thinking this but I worry far too much about what people think, and I that has lead to me freaking out about tomorrow.
I have printed off a poster saying I don’t want any callers – lets see what happens!