My boiler hates me!

I hate my boiler. My boiler hates me. The feeling is mutual. It wasn’t always, when I first moved in I gave my boiler the benefit of the doubt. The first few times I had no hot water and the central heating turned on FOR NO APPARENT REASON… at 3 o’clock in the morning…. causing me to wake in a hot sweat. I forgave it.

I blamed myself. I thought I had set it up wrong.

So I ventured into the cupboard where it lives to re-asses my settings. I fiddled with the dials. I spoke with love… I spoke with respect…. I spoke with desperation… I spoke with threats. I am now onto at least my 3rd different set up of dial configurations.

Yesterday morning I was in heaven. I had not woken in a sweat in the middle of the night. My house was not freezing as I pulled myself wearily from my bed.

I thought it was sorted. I thought we were friends. I put the past behind me in a happy cloud of warmth and went to work.

When I came back the house was colder than expected. Come 8pm the house was freezing and I was snuggled under about 4 blankets and my big ginger collie. I refused to go upstairs and have it out with my boiler. I decided maybe the silent treatment was the only way it would learn…

And then at 10pm last night the bloody thing turned itself on. Just as I was going to bed it gurgled to life.

I am desperate – can anyone explain why, when the dial looks like this…

Although it may not look like it, this is in fact a torture device!!
Although it may not look like it, this is in fact a torture device!!

My heating has turned itself on?

At this exact moment. If it had turned itself on when it was near one of the dials I would at least have some sort of a clue as to why.

However, as far as I can see there is no Godly reason as to why it turned on at this exact moment – well no reason other than the fact it hates me and wants to see me suffer!

I thought I was a competent woman…

I have a good degree…

I have a good job…

but I may have to admit that the boiler has beaten me. Help!!

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aaaaaaaaah

It’s 8.20am and I am seriously debating if it’s too early to begin drinking – it’s 12pm somewhere right??

BD was attacked last night. I was walking him from the exes garden to the boot of my car and this Jack Russell (JRT) went for him. I saw it coming, and so I positioned myself in between BD and it. I had BD near the low wall which runs past the house, and I put my legs as a shield between him and the JRT. BD was brilliant. This dog slowed to approach him and he wrinkled his nose and showed his teeth. I shouted to anyone that could hear my dog wasn’t friendly.  A neighbour tried to shoo the dog away – it wasn’t having it. Then the dog’s owner appeared and tried to grab his dog…. The dog launched itself at BD and clung on to his neck. Obviously at this point BD reacted and we had a fully-fledged dog fight on our hands.BD was on his lead, and so I had him under some control, but this terrier would not let go. I didn’t know what to do for the best – I considered dropping BDs lead so he could out run it and get away, but I didn’t. I think I knew that although he doesn’t start them, he will finish them and so I knew if I dropped the lead he would have just stayed. So I hung on to him… but this meant I had no free hands to get this bloody dog off him. The JRTs owner tried a few times, and we did get the two separated but every time we got the terrier off it would wriggle out of the owners hands and come back for BD.

There was so much blood. I was covered. BD was covered.

I thought this dog had really injured him.

Finally we got the JRT off for a few seconds and in those moments I ran and managed to get BD safely into the boot of my car where he cowered.

I was shaking. He was a mess.

There was so much blood…..

I tried to check him over but he was very scared and I didn’t want to stress him further. Although there was all this bright red blood on him, I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. I checked his neck, nose, mouth. I checked me – a  few scratches and a big rip in my new leggings – but no reason for all the blood.

The JRTs owner came across to apologise and check on BD. He said his dog was fine and was concerned about the damage done to BD. He too agreed there appeared to be too much blood for neither dog to be harmed.

I called the ex. I didn’t particularly want to – he can’t be my I have a problem and need someone go to guy. But in this instance I had no choice. BD is his dog and I wanted him to check him over as well, a second pair of eyes!!. I also called my parents and cancelled our plans to finish DIYing. They would have bought Mity; there was no way I was running the risk of having a stressed out BD and Mity in close proximity.

So BD and I spent the evening chasing tennis balls (him), drinking red wine (me) and cuddling on the sofa (both of us). He was soon smiling his head off again and I can’t find a mark on him. The ex went to see the other owners and apparently they were beyond apologetic and the JRT is now sporting a small graze about her eye but shows no other signs so no one is any the wiser as to where all this blood came from.

Fast forward to this morning when BD and I spent a brilliant half hour chucking tennis balls in the sun. I was relaxed. Then I go to drop BD at the exes before I head to work and you’ll never guess what is waiting for us as I pull up outside his house……. a big black dog. And it was almost in the exact spot where BD was attacked, and very much stood between the garden where I would be leaving BD and my car which we were both sat in.

I panicked.

There was no way in hell I was getting BD out of the car while the other dog was in eyesight. But I couldn’t bring myself to chase this dog away.

I will admit that my first thought was to just sit in the car with BD in the boot forever. Yes, that was my first thought, no I didn’t consider just driving back to mine. What can I say it’s been a stressful 24 hours. After what felt like forever (but was only a few minutes) I decided that I had no choice but to try and find the dogs owner.

Unlike the last loose dog I found, this one did run away scared and was quite happy to let me lone on it while consuming some of the treats that it smelt out in my pocket. The dog was wearing a collar but the collar was free from any information no name, no number, no address. Fat lot of use that collar is! Luckily one of my neighbours pulled out of their drive, recognised the dog and I managed to return it to her owner (who hadn’t realised she’s escaped). I got BD into the garden with no issues and was all set to arrive at work on time, despite everything… … and then I got stuck behind a tractor and ended up driving the entire way to work at 10mph.

So, what do you think, too early to open a bottle or can I justify it?

Not my day

Do you ever have one of those days where everything that happens is telling you to go back to bed?

This morning was going ok, until I got into my car and dropped my lunch…which was soup….and the lid came off… and it went everywhere…including into the seatbelt holder bit (what is that called?). I shoved the container and what was left of my lunch into a spare poo bag, put it on the passenger seat and headed in to work.

I had an uneventful drive to work. However getting out of the car in the office car park I dropped my bread roll….on the floor…into a puddle!

Borrowed from Danielle Williamson's on ETSY
Borrowed from Danielle Williamson’s on ETSY

Is it too early to open a bottle?

A bottle of wine and a really good friend.

Last night I had a lovely girlie night in with one of my closest friends. Turns out fate or whoever it is who decides to screw up our lives had the same dislike of me and her at the exact same time and the week I moved out of my house her own relationship ended and she moved into her own flat.

It has been brilliant to have someone going through the exact same emotions as me, or at least very similar. It would appear that our ex’s are now outdoing themselves to prove which is the biggest ass, and it may surprise you to learn that hers is now winning by a wide margin, although me and mine are having a ‘chat’ next week. I called him out on being full of it and he has uttered the immortal lines “we need to talk” so there is a date in the diary and well no doubt you guys will hear all about it.

The last few years haven’t always been plain sailing, and although we haven’t fallen out there was a period when our friendship was tested almost to breaking point. However it looks like we are past that and our friendship is now stronger than ever.

That being said I was slightly worried last night. You see we met at, let’s say dance class, and recently due to circumstances we have both left said dance class. Now previously when we have met up with have had that common thread to join us together and we have always had that to fall back on when conversations have dried up. And looking back through the years, as this class took up a lot of time we were seeing each other weekly but never really outside of class (other than lifts to and from class, or tea before class). I hate to admit but with the fall out and the joining thread gone I was worried that we may not have anything to talk about. Once we had finished slagging off our respective partners, our jobs and everything else we could think of where would the conversation go?

Turns out I had nothing to worry about. Once you have slagged off every man and his dog (although clearly not the dogs as I love all animals and any faults are clearly the man’s doing anyway!) you pull on your Pjs, finish off the bottle of wine, put on a slightly weird film and just be.
If that’s how we celebrate a Tuesday night, I bet you can’t wait to hear about the brilliant plans we have for Valentine’s Day. Although only in the planning stages so far we have copious amounts of wine, a zombie infestation board game and some men hating films – anyone wanna join?

You’ve got mail

Yes I am showing my age slightly but who cares!!

Trying to figure out what should happen in a split, that isn’t really a split. When your OH tells you he needs you to move out to think, but then can’t tell you if this is going to be a permanent split or just a few months while he takes some time dealing with issues that he should have dealt with before you two got together and it feels as if he has taken your heart and smashed it against the rocks of despair, you kinda have to make it up as you go along. Well meaning family and friends will offer advice, shoulders to cry on and a glass of wine or three but in the end it is up to the two of you to make up the rules.

I know that if we are going to get back together, OH has to miss me. I know I have had to leave for him to realise what he has lost, and I know that as much as I want to call him and tell him about my day, I can’t. The problem is I am rubbish at self-control and OH seemed to think that despite the fact we were splitting up, it would be great for me to call him every day, to tell him about my day and let him sort out my problems (sorry but if you don’t get to feel like your in a relationship, without the commitment, not if your dating me!) so when a very wise friend of mine suggested we took some time out from each other, a period of no contact unless necessary, I jumped at the idea!

My friend suggested a month, I said I thought it would take OH at least 6 months – 1 year to sort out his head, and somehow a period of 3 months was suggested. I liked this idea, and so proudly came home….trying to pretend I was not going to be completely destroyed by this split, and that I was taking control of the situation…and told OH that I was bringing in radio silence for 3 months (which later became until the 31st Dec – new year, new start see what I did?!). He hated the idea since the minute I suggested it, but this time I stuck by my guns and so after a initial wobble 5 minutes after he had left and responding to his I have arrived safely text, radio silence has been instigated. Last night I cried on my friends shoulder at the realisation that for the first time in over 3.5 years we had contact for more than 24 hours…

And then this morning I walked into work to see he had sent me an email funny. What does that mean? I have looked at the date and time of this email, he is abroad and usually this means his internet is switched off on his phone, does this mean that he sent it a week ago and it has only just landed, is he sat missing me and thinking about me regretting his decision, or does it mean absolutely nothing????

????????????????

I want to get mad at someone – anyone!!

So this morning started in a pretty normal way (Well except that I was stopping the evening with my folks, and they decided to wake me before my alarm at 5.30am – a time no one should see!) But I was in a pretty good mood, you see OH has been away with work for the last 3 out of 4 weeks but today he was back for the foreseable future. I don’t sleep well when OH is not next to me (go figure, I have slept alone for 27 years and in 7 months of living with him I no longer sleep if he is not snorring away next to me??!!)

I digress! Then this morning I got a phone call from him saying work had decided he was urgently needed and he would be flying out at 4am tomorrow morning. Now here is the problem, I was gutted, I have missed him like crazy, I am tired and sick of doing things on my own! OH kept apologising and I kept telling him it wasn’t his fault (Which it wasn’t) but at the same I was annoyed. I have not planned anything for the last month because I wanted to be there for BD (as I feel massively guilty when I leave him each morning and despite taking him for massive walks I feel I am not doing enough to make up for the longer hours alone and him missing his dad!) and tonight I had made plans to go out with some friends (something I probably don’t do as much as I should!) I made the offer to OH about cancelling (although a small part of me was relieved when he game me permission to still go) but he withdrew his offer of a lift. I’ll be honest with you, I wanted to stamp my foot like a child and the phrase “but it’s not fair” crossed my mind.

However, this is work and I don’t feel like I can get mad at him. So i say it’s fine and set about changing my plans for this evening (arriving at friends early for pre-dinner drinks postponned til next time) and tried to find some fun ways to keep myself busy over the weekend so I am not spending another weekend alone.

So weekend planned, drive to meal out tonight, race through food and run home to spend some time with OH and avoid seperate rooms (a story for another time), tomorrow twilight marathon with sister, involving spending the night at hers so I can have a glass of wine (or three) to make up for missing out tonight, sunday she comes with me to a work committment and then we got to grandparents for sunday dinner (which she had already planned and I am not gate crashing)

Then…

phone call from OH, the bosses have changed their minds he is now more likely than not not going and they will send someone else. FFS now I have to race about ammending plans that I ammended only hours ago!!!!!! and the worse part is I can’t get mad at anyone cause it’s no-ones fault!

My weekend

How to have a weekend like mine:

Friday:

  • Stay late at work to catch up on mountain of paper work which has built up to due to a two week holiday.
  • Drive half hour commute home (getting stuck behind idiot who only ever drives at 40 mph regardless of speedlimit!)
  • Throw tea down my neck as racing out to a fundraising quiz.
  • Pack bags for weekend with blokey (I hate packing and am the worlds worst packer) ensuring to pack more than you need so everyone looking at your overnight bag will assume you are leaving home.
  • Race to fundraiser to find out the friend you were meeting for a good catch up (and honestly the main reason you were going) wasn’t coming.
  • Finish quiz at 10.30pm and race to blokeys house.
  • Find blokey isn’t at house and instead go to meet him at a local club (11pm) & relax.

Saturday:

  • Have a well deserved lie in
  • Take dog for walk – remember just before putting walking boots on, but having driving to walk location (it was a long way from blokeys home, I am not just lazy!) that walking boots broke on holiday and I am missing 1/3 of my sole.
  • Decide to set off on walk, but as not feeling 100% don’t point out to blokey that he has decided not to follow the path and end up wandering around water logged fields aimlessly!
  • Misjudge what you think is a reed bed, and rather than jumping onto a firm surface end up in water and other substances you would rather not identify up to your ankles!
  • On pulling foot out with broken sole, ensure you have a sole full of above mentioned yuck and flick it over your back!
  • Continue on walk, despite sole getting worse.
  • Once only 1/3 of sole is attached to shoe, ensure you get sole stuck under boot and when flicking foot to release sole cover the front half of you in the above mentioned yuck!
  • Decide to abandon walk, and head into town to purchase new pair or walking boots.
  • Realise on route to town you did not bring your purse with you as you were going on a walk (something which rarely happens) and smile sweetly at blokey.
  • Get to town and remember your socks are brown as your broken walking boots leaked, borrow blokeys socks.
  • Find pair you like with amazing discount on and discover there is a loose stitch which runbs your heal, decide you can mend shoes at home but try and get a discount (succeed) but have this discount cause massive chaos at the tills.
  • Go to visit relatives and play with two young neices (3 and 6 years old).
  • Take them for a walk, when heading home watch in horror as littlest neice falls while skipping and outs teeth through lips! Despite best efforts to comfort carry screaming child home.
  • Try to sort tea.
  • Finally get screaming child to stop scream and have big sister of scream child show you her wobbley tooth which has just fallen out.
  • Try to find loose change for tooth fair (in case she is as rubbish as you and forgot her purse) and appropriate safe place to put tooth.
  • Have blokey turn up to take you home and save your day
  • Relax

Sunday:

  • Do shopping
  • Walk dog (with some training – different story!)
  • Sort out lunch
  • Race to drama rehersal for upcoming show, being organised to take flask, however enure flask leaks so you end up throwing tea all over self twice!
  • Arrive back at blokeys, start to sort out tea, have cupboard fall off wall above you while cooking!
  • Stop cooking to empty cupboard and then hold the half of the cupboard which has fallen while blokey tries to pull the other half of wall.
  • Succeed in removing cupboard, resume cooking tea and relax

Did anyone else have an eventful weekend?