My boiler hates me!

I hate my boiler. My boiler hates me. The feeling is mutual. It wasn’t always, when I first moved in I gave my boiler the benefit of the doubt. The first few times I had no hot water and the central heating turned on FOR NO APPARENT REASON… at 3 o’clock in the morning…. causing me to wake in a hot sweat. I forgave it.

I blamed myself. I thought I had set it up wrong.

So I ventured into the cupboard where it lives to re-asses my settings. I fiddled with the dials. I spoke with love… I spoke with respect…. I spoke with desperation… I spoke with threats. I am now onto at least my 3rd different set up of dial configurations.

Yesterday morning I was in heaven. I had not woken in a sweat in the middle of the night. My house was not freezing as I pulled myself wearily from my bed.

I thought it was sorted. I thought we were friends. I put the past behind me in a happy cloud of warmth and went to work.

When I came back the house was colder than expected. Come 8pm the house was freezing and I was snuggled under about 4 blankets and my big ginger collie. I refused to go upstairs and have it out with my boiler. I decided maybe the silent treatment was the only way it would learn…

And then at 10pm last night the bloody thing turned itself on. Just as I was going to bed it gurgled to life.

I am desperate – can anyone explain why, when the dial looks like this…

Although it may not look like it, this is in fact a torture device!!
Although it may not look like it, this is in fact a torture device!!

My heating has turned itself on?

At this exact moment. If it had turned itself on when it was near one of the dials I would at least have some sort of a clue as to why.

However, as far as I can see there is no Godly reason as to why it turned on at this exact moment – well no reason other than the fact it hates me and wants to see me suffer!

I thought I was a competent woman…

I have a good degree…

I have a good job…

but I may have to admit that the boiler has beaten me. Help!!