I don’t know how he does it but he seems to have this inbuilt ability to know when I am finally in a good place and he picks that exact moment to re-appear in my life and rock the boat. Friday I was happy. I was in a really good place. I love my new job. Felt settled and in control and everything seemed to be going well for me. I was feeling positive about the future and this is when he chose his moment to strike.
Apparently the text I sent him while he was away hurt him deeply, and so for the good of me (he’s just so self-less) he thinks I should cut all contact with BD. He has decided I am not over him, and that (for the first time in 18 months) that this is upsetting his partner and so he thinks contact should end. He also (for the first time EVER) said that we both agreed this was only ever a short term agreement – b*llocks!!
Of course he told me all this over text. Apparently something like this didn’t deserve a phone call or face to face conversation – honestly what I ever saw in him!
I asked if there was any way he would change his mind, I explained that I knew the text would have upset him but since sending it I had had time to think and I was most certainly not still hung up on him… he said he would think about it. I wish he hadn’t. Him taking time to think about it means there is hope. Means he could still let me see Bd again. So I feel I am once again in no mans land being dangled on a rope.
I have thought about walking away from Bd. Taking the power out of his hands and telling him to shove it… but I can’t. I am not a person who can walk away from a dog I made a promise to. He doesn’t get to turn me into that person. So I leave the ball in his court.
I hope he makes his decision soon, I didn’t sleep last night and if I have more heartache to get over I want to make a start on it!