Seeing red

It started out as a bit of fun, just a way to meet new people. But as time went on (and by time I mean a month or so) I started to panic about not meeting “the one”. I know deep down I wasn’t ready too but still there was a little bit of me that got carried away with the idea of not spending another valentine’s day, or my birthday, or Christmas alone. This lead to me forgetting the rules of “what will be will be” and start to worry when he didn’t wink back or why the only men who seem to approach me are 48 year old divorcees. I think it was this that lead to me falling for Edward quite so hard.

However, a few weeks back I had an epiphany, a proper light bulb moment. I strongly believe that when the time is right I will meet him, but it won’t happen until we are both ready and there is no point stressing or searching; when it is meant to be we will find each other.

This means I have managed to readjust my thoughts towards online dating, and once again I am being selective and not just falling for any guy who shoots me a smile, and rather naughtily I am trying to tell the guys who contact me exactly what I think (yes, this may have a little something to do with my time of the month as well, but let’s overlook that!)

Here are the three sure fire ways, that your well-intended message will have me seeing red:

The first thing is an introductory message which goes along the lines of “Hi, I’m d*ckhead. I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are. Surely you are too beautiful to be single” This message annoys me because it implies I am a liar. Random gentleman, are you accusing me of using someone else’s picture to lure people to my profile or is that you think I am in a long term committed relationship and yet want a little something something on the side? So your first message is to accuse me of being a lying cheat!

The second comment that has me contemplating murder is the phrase “it would be better with you!” Usually this is muttered by some guy after we have chatted for a bit, but before we have agreed on a first date. So far I have been told their day, food, evening, pizza, weekend, bike ride and anything else you can imagine would be better if I was alongside. I get it. I really do, we all have had enough of being alone and we all want someone to spend those special moments with BUT you do not know me. How do you know spending any time in my presences at all will be enjoyable? We could argue over films, or which restaurant to eat in, conversation could run out, I could turn out to be a man with 3 heads (I am not). Although I know this is coming from a sweet place it still makes me see red!

The final faux pa that has me seeing read is being referred to as “Babe”. I don’t know why but call me babe and I will be considering chopping off your man hood with a blunted spoon.

Maybe I should have an ‘approach with caution’ sign somewhere on my profile!!

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6 thoughts on “Seeing red

  1. I can totally see why those intro phrases piss you off! I always hated when guys would say “I’d be better if you were there” I had the same reaction as you “how could you possibly know that??!?! weirdo.” Also, have you heard of this guy named Matthew Hussey? He’s a relationship “expert”. I’ve heard some of his talks which are really good, but apparently there is a book too.. idk if you’re into that type of thing. (but if it helps, he’s gorgeous)

    • Just googled him, did you know he has a retreat? I will admit I don’t know the guy from adam but I am very skeptical about relationship exerts. What is he doing telling you how to act to get someone (well that isn’t the real you, so when that mask slips, or do you spend the rest of your life pretending to be this fake you) or does he just teach you the tricks to treat them mean and keep them keen?

      *I would like to point out I know nothing about him other than a quick google search. I am more than happy to admit my judgement may be way off!

  2. I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. In their defense though, most men just don’t get it and the ones that do, their women are hanging on TIGHT.

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