Well I did it. I’m officially heading out on my first online date, and I don’t think I could have picked a bigger idiot. Last night he changed his mind and decided he didn’t think meeting up was a good idea.
For some reason I decided to persuade him otherwise and so I’m currently sat, freezing cold, on a train on the way to… Well God alone knows!
I suppose I can’t fully blame him for me being cold. With him blowing hot and cold I decided not to look into train or bus time tables. So unable to find the right bus stop I gave up and headed to the train station where I spent 30 minutes sat in the cold waiting for a delayed train.
I think I have butterflies, but I don’t really know. There is a feeling in the pit of my stomach and I don’t know what it is, fear, apprehension, a little excitement. Although I’m scared for there to be too much, I’m scared to get hurt again.
I don’t fully know what I’m doing here. I feel like a failure for not being able to meet someone the traditional way. Do I honestly want to meet someone yet? I don’t know. My opinions on being alone change more often than I change my socks. One day I feel alone isn’t so bad, I’ll survive a life alone. Next day and you can find me close to tears because I just want someone special.
I feel this is a ramble, at least it’s killed the best part of a train journey where I’ve forgotten my book and iPod.
Trains pulling into the station now, so here I go. Wish me luck!