Are nice guys really that hard to find?

I am beginning to seriously suspect that ‘nice guys’ don’t exist and in fact they are actually a myth, passed down from mother to daughter. I am convinced that they are of a similar elk to the Loch Ness monster or Sasquatch; every once in a while you think you glimpse one, other people swear blind to have seen, met or even married these creatures… but if you go out hunting for yourself you can’t help but come back disappointed!

I thought I’d found one. Hell to be completely honest I thought I had found two.

The first I have previously mentioned. He seemed keen, had a brilliant sense of humour, asked me on two dates before we had even met in person, we’d spend evenings chatting to each other. I thought the signs were good. .. Then he added me on Facebook and vanished never to be heard from again.

The second appears to be following a similar pattern. Talked every day for at least 3 weeks, good sense of humour, not my usual type but nothing to suggest a date wouldn’t be at least an enjoyable few hours. Then I added him on Facebook….


The guy who moments before was replying to texts as soon as they were coming in, was suddenly quiet. He was quiet for over an hour before “You look different from your profile pic”

Are you frigging kidding me??

So I counter with “Good or bad different” and his response “Can’t answer that?”


Of course you can answer that. Either you like what you see or you don’t. It is very simple. From then on the tone of his messages changed, he went from jokey and funny to a bit serious. I asked if he wanted to cancel our date and his response was “I don’t want to waste your time!” but then claimed later that he thought I was out of his league but that he did still want to meet.

I know this is the point when I should be running in the other direction, but I can’t help but feel bitterly disappointed that he is quite such an… ass!

16 thoughts on “Are nice guys really that hard to find?

    • Thank you. I have given up on the hope of finding someone, but what the heck I have paid for 6 months and so I will persevere. If nothing else it is giving me something to blog about!!

  1. I know I’ve been spending too much on line when I start feeling like every man in the world is an asshole. If I have to read about one more serial rapist/sexist/catcaller etc. I’m going to scream.

    Then I need to sit down and think about all the lovely men I went to college with, who married my friends. And the wonderful young men my friends are raising to adulthood. And my own husband, who although not perfect, is shaping up to be pretty good under my years of careful tutelage. 🙂

    It sound hard to get to know someone online. You only see one aspect of them or what they wish to present to you.

    And yet I’ve made really wonderful female friends online, some of whom I consider my dearest friends. Maybe non-romantic relationships are just lower risk.

    I know I’m really old. And I have friends who are dating people they met online. But if I were dating today, I don’t think I’d go online. I’d rather see someone in front of me and know who he’s friends with before putting myself in his way.

    In fact, when my now husband was chasing me years ago, I thought he was a real dweeb. It was only because his roommate, who I thought was very cool and interesting, liked him that I took a second look. If if weren’t for knowing other people who thought a lot of him, I wouldn’t have bothered.

    • I did put feelers out through my friends to try and meet guys before venturing online, but they didn’t have any suitable friends (as in single.)

      I’m just trying to look at it as a new experience, but I’m not expecting great things! The annoying thing is when I meet a guy who seems nice (before he shows his true colours) I have mixed feelings about starting out with someone already, but then when they become an ass I get this dread of being alone forever and that makes everything harder. I start missing the ex. I start wondering what if…

      So if it keeps me away from those thoughts I will stay online until the money runs out!!

  2. Believe me, they’re still out there! But you should know how to tell the difference, cause bad guys know how to seduce pretending to be Mr. Right just to get the girl for a night!

  3. I’m wondering if he thinks you are so gorgeous and wouldn’t be interested in a frog like him? Sometimes I think dating a beautiful (not that I know about THAT) woman can be very intimidating to some men. 😉

    • That is his claim, but he doesn’t strike me as that modest (which is a horrible thing to say!) my mum, bless her, often says I intimidate men but I can’t help but feel a bit sad as I am me and can’t and most definitely won’t change for any man!!

  4. I don’t really think there are ‘bad’ or ‘nice’ guys, I think there are just people wrong for us and right for others. (I’d like to think that! That’s my rare positivism speaking today! 🙂

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