I have come to realise that the whole online dating charade is so weird, suddenly dating has new rules, new boundaries… If i met a guy in a pub, we chatted and got on I would (potentially) give him my number so that we could meet up at another time and no one would think anything of it. But if you meet someone online, suddenly because they could be anybody we keep our identities close to our chest (well as close as you can when your photo is there for all to see) and DO NOT share any personal information. Yet, apart from actually looking at the person (and for the moment lets forget about all the little subliminal messages) all you have is the other persons word that they are what/who they claim to be.
Having had this realisation I have decided to let me guard down a little. Don’t worry I haven’t gone completely crazy, I still haven’t admitted to where I actually live and I am not meeting any guys somewhere that isn’t public with everyone who knows me knowing exactly where I am going and who I am going there to meet. But I have started handing out my phone number a little bit easier, when I feel a spark and now I would be up for a date then if they ask I will give them my number.
This has lead to a new problem. Part of the online dating experience is ‘playing the field’ I don’t mean sleeping with lots of people, but it seems to be important to keep your options open and not commit too quickly (which is weird cause had I met a guy in a bar I wouldn’t be going out looking for other people to chat to just so he didn’t monopolies my evening!) Anyway, this means I have now swooped numbers with a few guys and have a couple of dates in the pipelines.
However, taking them off the online world and putting them into my phone has caused a new problem. When I save people in my phone I usually use a nickname or key word to help identify the individual. For example Charlie (Group) was a guy who was in my group for some course work at Uni, (Postman) Phil was an idiot I talked to on a night out but remembered that he worked for the post Office and Geraldine was the part a woman played in my drama club her actual name was Kate. There is no rhyme, reason or logic to the names in my phone.
Most of the guys I have met online and switched numbers with (there has been 6) have said something memorable or had transferable usernames to help me come up with their ‘phone’ names. However there is one guy who I have saved literally as Bob (as a.it was part of his username and b. I thought I would remember who he was) who has got back in contact after a few days of being quiet and now I do not have a clue who he is. I am assuming there was an attraction as I wouldn’t have given out my number if not, but I don’t have a clue. Anyone got any tips as to how you subtle ask someone what they look like and who they are after you have been speaking to them for a few weeks??