As much as I waxed lyrical about how I was only joining the online dating world to meet new people, there was a small part of me that hoped I would actually meet someone as a result of it. Things got off to a good start and I met two really interesting blokes, one of whom I am still in contact with and think this could be a long term friendship thing – but I’m not sure I feel that spark. The other… well at the time of writing still MIA and with the planned date supposed to be happening tomorrow but no messages for almost a week means I am officially writing him off (pity!).
So after 2 weeks ‘online’ the only thing I seem to have found is a bucket load of rejection!
Is it wrong that I’ve already had enough? I’m sick and tired of having to come up with new and interesting ways to introduce myself. I am grumpy that I seem to be in a never ending rotation of ‘how was your day?’ ‘Good. How was yours?’ type conversations and if I have to tell one more person what I need to do for a living I may just scream!!
However, I don’t want to give up (I can’t I was conned out of 6 months’ worth of membership!!!!) so when I have some free time I log on and try to find some more people to chat with; but today I feel I may make more progress hitting my head against a brick wall.
I think the problem is I know too much, well that and I think the website lied to me when I first joined! I can know see when people have viewed my profile and so I am becoming aware of people I am sending a message too looking at my profile and then not bothering to respond. Full on rejection and it happened to me twice today before I had even had breakfast. Then there are the people who are looking and not commenting – what my picture was tempting but now you have found out more about me you think I’m not worth getting to know??
I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea. But if someone has made the effort to send me a message I at least reply. Even if I know I am not interested I thank them for reaching out. But men (and yes I am going to blame all males as one!!) nothing, nadda, zip. Or they have sent a few messages but then suddenly vanish, mid conversation…
I keep telling myself it was all about fun. It was just a way to meet new people and get me used to the idea about their being someone else in my life; to prove to me that I could move on and get excited about receiving a text from someone other than the ex. But God it would have been nice to not feel so completely rejected by every man with a nice smile and an apparent sense of humour under the age of 40!!!
I think many men don’t take Online Dating as seriously as we’d think. Which explains a lot of the ‘fade out’s. People that are in the dating scene and suddenly vanish (well , me included – I am guilty, guilty, 100x guilty). In loads of those aspects, I cannot blame men as I am probably worse; however I agree that checking people’s profile for ‘nothing’ is a bit too much. There is nothing that can be written in a profile that can replace knowing someone by talking to them; so why not just talk to them, right?! – People are too quick to judge!
I know things will get better for you, and eventually it is what it is all about until it gets serious eventually : FUN.
I wish you the best and have a lovely Sunday.
Thank you very much. Wrongly I assumed, if you have spent some money (as a guy) you would be slightly more tempted to be serious! Oh well, I’m just going to accept the unavoidable and start buying cats!
I suspect that being online makes it easier for people to “reject” each other. Being online creates distance.
However even offline dating has its weird moments. I remember when an acquaintance in college asked me out. He had just been through a traumatic break up when he found out his long time girl friend was pregnant by another man. We went out, had a nice time, and he never spoke to me again. The next night, he took my roommate out.
I wasn’t hurt. I didn’t invest too much in the date.
But I realized he was auditioning serious girl friends. He had no interest in casual dating or getting to know anyone better. He was looking for a replacement for his last girl friend and he was in a hurry.
Very weird! I don’t think that coming out of one relationship and trying to rush into another one is ever a good idea!
And yet he’s still married to the same woman he settled on 28 years later!
I guess there’s no perfect path for finding love.
Wouldn’t it be soooo much easier if there was – jump through this hoop, survive this hearbreak.. here you go you’ve earned the ring!! ;0)