If you thought this week had thrown everything it possibly could my way, you would be wrong. Apparently it isn’t enough that I had a car journey from hell and came home to be greeted by a boiler that plays mind games… Nope I am also being terrorized by the worlds biggest spider!!!
Don’t believe me. See for yourself…
Now I know some of you may want to be funny, like some of my unsympathetic work collages were when shown this terrifying spider, and so comments like “where” and “oh, that little thing” may slip from your lips. But let me point out that picture is taken from the other side of my lounge, and the black dot you see near the ceiling is the spider and the items to the left are my new curtain and curtain rails (I hope you like them) and that curtain rail end splays to cover an area roughly the size of my palm. So now you have a comparison, can I have a bit of God damn respect?!!
Here’s my problem. I don’t like spiders. It has taken over 25 years for me to be able to reach a stage where I can put a cup over them and carry them outside (or chuck them out of the nearest window.) If they are outside, then that is fine. That is there home and I leave them alone, all I ask is for the same respect.
This one has broken that treaty. Actually it is not the first as I have had one that has reappeared in the corner of my fire every other day for a few weeks. Each time it appeared I politely asked it to ‘go away and never return’ and *touch wood* it has listened to me this time.
However I do not feel like carrying this one outside in a glass and nicely asking it to leave – for one thing it doesn’t fit it any of the glasses I own!!Also I do have a kind of unwritten rule whereby if I can count the hairs on its legs then I can get someone else to sort it while I run from the room screaming like a girl!!
Last time this spider showed it’s hairy giant face it was thrown out by my lovely brave daddy. (Just one of many reasons my daddy is a hero!!) However now the bugger is back, and took great pleasure in mocking me while I enjoyed my breakfast this morning .
Or at least it did. It walked across the wall, from one corner to another, paused for this photo and then vanished. I have no idea where the bloody thing has gone.
I am currently searching my phone book to find out who is the closest friend I have who can come and play hunt the spider and get rid of it for me. Half an hour isn’t too long a journey is it? Well it’s either that or I put my house back on the market!