I don’t know if it was the great music, whether my senses had been deadened by the cold or if it was half the bottle of red wine that had been coiffed but this weekend I managed something pretty special – I managed to ‘be in the moment’.
I was at a music concert (of sorts) with my friend and her children and we decided we were going to go and dance… at the front….with everyone watching.
For those fews songs I forgot everything. I didn’t care what people thought of me. I didn’t miss him (which I still do every day!). I wasn’t wondering what my future would be like, when I would meet the one, what he would look like, how I would know this time. Family feuds were forgotten and for a short time I was just in the moment dancing like a loon (there is no other way to dance in this position!) laughing my head off and just enjoying the moment.
It is something that I have wanted to achieve for so long – enjoying the journey rather than worrying about the destination.
Sadly the moment didn’t last long. I caught a gimps of someone who I thought was the ex and my heart did that funny leap it always did when I say him and the butterflies he gave me returned. But that didn’t matter. For a while I had achieved something I have been striving for for so long, and now I have found it once I am sure I will find it a second time and then a third, forth and fifth time.
Slowly I am pulling myself together. Its not easy and there are days when it is down right hard but facing my demons rather than running for them seems to be helping and suddenly for the first time in a long time, perhaps in a forever I am excited by the journey!!