At 11pm last night I was driving down a major motorway near to my house pondering if my small car is bullet proof as you do. Do not worry though this isn’t some sort of newly discovered fascination with bullets more the logical conclusion of a thought process which had started early that journey.
So I must have you on the edge of the seat wondering what event had trigged this thought process. Well, wait for it…I flashed my lights at a car coming in the other direction when they put their full beams back on to full half way up a hill.
Ok, for those of you whose minds do not put two and two together and come up with ‘I’m going to be murdered as I drive’ I will explain the slightly longer thought process with you….
I was driving down a country lane, about 10.20pm and it was night. There were various twists, turns and hills and it was on one particular hill that the approaching car did something peculiar which resulted in me flashing my lights at them.
Then I remembered the story of the ‘gang killings’ when the ‘victim’ was chosen by driving around at night with lights off and the first person to ‘flash’ them became their victim. Now I know that this car did have lights on, but things evolve don’t they?!
I looked behind me, and for the first time in the journey I spotted headlights in my rear mirror. Proof, they had turned round and I was now their intended victim. So I started playing through scenarios in my head. My first assumption was they would probably kill me with a knife, and so there was no way I was going back to my house alone, so I came up with a plan. If they followed me all the way to my front door, which was still a little while away so would give them time to turn off and continue on their journey as they were not a gang trying to murder me find a new victim, I would call the ex.
Can we stop the story here for a second? The ex did not spring to mind because of any sort of ‘knight in shining armour’ idea, or because I wanted to see him but because due to his job he has various skills and contacts and so would be of the most use at this moment. Ok, back to the story.
So I had a plan. I would call him and then head to his place where he could disarm the crazed killer and then I would say thank you very much and head home to water my garden.
But as we approached the motorway I had a worrying thought. We are always hearing about how gun crime is now heading across to the UK from the US, what if they intended shooting me?
I would like to say that as I pulled onto the slip way I did not think “oh well, at least my sister is expecting a phone call from me when I’m back safely so they won’t wait too long before finding my body” and I did not hunker down in my car a little and ponder the bullet proofness of my car when the car pulled out to overtake me.
Good job I don’t have an overactive imagination right?!