Budgeting – argh!

I know it is very un-English to discuss money, but my blog, my rules, so here goes.

When I took my new job, after the bullying, I took an enormous pay cut and I’m still not financially as well off as I would like. I suppose I am not alone in thinking I should be paid more money for the job I do. But I may surprise you to admit that I actually don’t think my wage is that bad, more I think other people are earning stupid amounts of money for the roles they have and I worry that the cost of living is just to high.

Before it was never much of a problem I have always lived within my means and latterly I have had the support of the ex. He was brilliant in helping me manage my money. I contributed to the household bills and such like, paid rent, bought food; but he only ever asked for a contribution which he knew I could afford. I didn’t sponge off him but in the back of my mind I knew that between us we could cover all our monthly out goings and both put a little into our savings. I knew that if money ever became tight I could ask him to ‘cover me’ and I would pay him back later.

However he has gone and with it I feel I have lost some of that support network. I am not completely alone, I have my parents and I know they would never see me loose the house or go hungry. Hell I’m certain they would give up their house before they let me loose mine. But I don’t want to take money off my parents (plus I am currently indebted to them for more than I would like as they helped with renovation costs!) Suddenly it is up to me to live within a budget, go without things I can’t afford.

I’ll be honest this scares me. I like to think I’m not flash or spoilt – I’d rather spend the day walking with the dogs then spending money shopping. But as I consider stepping out into the dating pool once again I am going to need money. I would like to think on a first date the guy would offer to pay, but I want to be able to cover my share of the tip if needed, and if the date goes well I would like to think I would be able to offer to buy him a drink as a thank you for paying, and as a way to extend the night. The same goes with seeing friends. I know staying in with a bottle of wine doesn’t cost much, but when we are all saving you’ve got the cost of petrol, a bottle of wine, maybe some chocolate…..It all adds up!

Last night I want shopping. I went into Lidl and then Tesco. I stood for ages adding things up, looking for the best deals, taking things off the shelves then putting them back, and yet I spent nearly £70. I knew part of this shop was to stock the cupboards and so my basket contained some staples which I will not have to buy again for a while, like salt, pepper, mixed herbs, oil etc but still that is an awful lot of my food budget blown already. Add to that I then had to fill my car with petrol, another £50 and I am panicked. That’s over £100 in less than 2 hours.

I have bills coming in soon. I have to eat for the rest of the month. I still need to buy key items for the house – fridge freeze, sink, dishwasher (that one’s right at the bottom of the list, more of a nice to have!) I am worried that I’m not going to be able to afford to do this.

I’ve toyed with taking a second job. But by the time taxes are taken, and I am shattered is there any point? Plus when would a second job give me time to see friends, family and BD and Mity?

I was hoping I would be getting a nice pay rise and that I this would mean things would be tight but manageable. That didn’t happen. I’m scared.

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16 thoughts on “Budgeting – argh!

  1. You have my extreme sympathy. My husband and I have been dealing with financial woes for a long time. It took moving to a new city where the cost of living is lower and the salaries are higher for us to get our heads above water. We still have a lot of debt but after a year of living here we finally have some breathing room. There was a long period where I was only paying half of the bills and we were constantly owing back payments. Every time the lights flickered I worried that I’d waited too long to pay the power bill. Luckily, other than credit cards and student loans, all of our bills are actually paid monthly and on time these days. It feels like a luxury!

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this stress right now. It sucks and it is scary. But you aren’t alone.

    • thank you so much. I know that I will be fine, there are so many people in a worse situation and I can be as frugal as I need (the kidneys have currently lasted me 4 meals!) but it’s the doing it alone bit that scares me the most!

  2. I enjoyed my single life, but not the money issues that came with it. When I divorced, my ex left me with most of the debt. I worked a ton of overtime to try to pay it off. Little by little, I did it. I still struggled from time to time, and sometimes it sucked. But learning to manage money by by myself was a good lesson I think a lot of people could use.

    • I am sure I will manage just fine and it’s a little more daunting at the moment as I still don’t know my monthly out goings verses my income. I have budgeted and planned, but until I live their a few months I will have no true idea!

  3. I think you are not alone. We all feel that way and even more so when you have no safety net. Things will get into a routine you just have to give it time. We wish you well. Have a tremendous Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. It’s tough, but you will get into a rhythm with it. So many of us are struggling, but somehow we find a way. You will too.

  5. Our money has gotten tighter and tighter as of late, and I hate to say it, but a lot of it is animal related. (The dogs are all on many medications that are draining our wallets). Like you, the first thing I did was do away with any unnecessary extras and try to only buy things I need. But every one in a while I do splurge a little. It IS hard to stay within a budget when things are tight, but I bet you’ll find a way to manage. If you do have to get a second job for a while to just get ahead a bit, remind yourself that it isn’t permanent…and make sure you do treat yourself for a little something once in a while. Especially that chocolate. It’s IMPORTANT.

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