Things that go bump in the night

I am not very good in the dark. It is one of the more practical things I miss about the ex. Having him there meant that I wasn’t alone in an evening, and due to his side of the bed being closest to the door, I was aware if anyone broke in in the middle of the night they would have to get through/over/round him (regardless of whether or not he was actually awake) before they could get to me. I even had a plan. As they came in the bedroom door I would make my exit out of the window. I would shimmy down the drain pipe before finding BD and taking him somewhere self before either waking neighbours or calling the police.

Ok, to be honest it probably wouldn’t be in any way that refined. The venetian blinds in the bedroom hated me and I could never get the bloody things open. So while the ex did his night in shining armour bit and fought for my dignity I would have been tugging on the blinds like a crazy woman, calling them every name under the sun and then have to wait for a break in the fight so that he could open the blinds for me.

Once I had overcome that hurdle, the next would have been my fear of heights. I don’t know if even the motivation of a burglar bursting into the bedroom would have got me out on the windowsill. But that didn’t matter, I had a plan!

Now there is just me. No warning bark from BD. No ex to get defend my honour. Just me.

Add to that my over-reactive imagination and it’s a wonder I’m not a gibbering wreck every evening when the sun starts to go down. I lie, I so am. Last night I walked past my kitchen windows trying very hard not to look out into the garden (I still don’t have any blinds!) then worrying that because I hadn’t looked I hadn’t seen the person hiding in the garden so forced myself to look anyway!

My stomach lurches every time I hear a noise.

Then last night as I lay in bed I heard the unmistakable sound of a door slowly opening, followed by the sound of someone climbing up the stairs.

I lay there afraid to move. I lay there afraid to breath.

The rational side of me told myself  “the walls are thin, it’s just the neighbours. And if it isn’t the neighbours all I have to do is scream”.

However,I still couldn’t help but look around my room to decide what would be my weapon when the time came to defend myself…….

I had a TV remote……

I had a hair brush……

I had a cuddly toy……

I’m screwed!


12 thoughts on “Things that go bump in the night

  1. OMD you made us chuckle for probably the wrong reason. Armed and dangerous with a cuddly toy. My next door neighbour was the same when her husband was away but she always said we were there if she needed us and we had dogs. Sadly after 20 odd years they have moved but we are still in touch and visit. Stay strong and grow stronger. Have a terrific Tuesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. Oh goodness! That is quite a fear. I’ve never been completely alone because I’ve always had a dog. I can’t imagine what it is like for you. Other than getting another dog, I have no suggestions. I imagine that would be difficult, though since there’s a chance BD won’t like him.

    • It’s more the unfairness of my lifestyle on another dog. I work full time and due to my single status I feel being able to go out and socialise is particularly important at the moment. If I had a dog I couldn’t do that, as proven when I had BD for the week. So for the moment I am a part time dog owner, actually it works really well!

  3. Long ago, before I was even born, the female biped had the day off. The male biped came home early to surprise her. She was in the shower and heard someone moving around in another room when she turned the water off. She went to the kitchen and picked up a large cast iron frying pan – he almost got hit over the head with it! He says he feels much safer now I’m in charge of security!

    • Clearly the fault in that situation lies entirely with your male biped, trying to do something sweet what was he thinking! And now I’m off to add large cast iron frying pan to my list of things to buy for the house!

      • My biped says you want one large enough to be effective, but not so heavy that it’s difficult to swing it above your head. I say that they’ll look at you as though you’re nuts if you try that in the shop!

  4. Do you have pepper spray or mace over there? If so and it’s available I’d suggest a canister of it for personal protection. When my husband is away, I sleep with my pepper blaster within reach. Even with two dogs.

    But um…..don’t you live in a house? How could noise like that be in a house, unless you were dreaming.

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