We don’t talk, we fight.
Whereas once I felt a flutter at your name appearing on my phone screen now I just feel dread.
Suddenly we are pulling apart every little fibre of the life we built together and arguing over who gets to keep what.
I spend my days alternating between missing you like crazy and wondering how I could have fallen for such a heartless, careless fuckwit.
I role over in bed and wish I could warm up my toes on you. Then the pain comes and I hate you for letting me get into this position. If you weren’t ready to share your life with me, then why did you let me fall so hard?
We planned future holidays, children, retirement. You took all those dreams away from me in a heartbeat and seem to have done it with such ease.
And now you seem intent on making it harder.
Any feeling you had for me gone. Any feels I have for you seem to slowly be turning to feelings of hate.
I don’t like or recognise who you have become.
Was I living in some dreamland?
Were you this heartless and cruel all along?
Was it all just a lie?
I don’t understand how you can treat someone you claimed to love in this manner.
Does that mean you never really loved me?