How did ‘we’ become this?

We don’t talk, we fight.

 

Whereas once I felt a flutter at your name appearing on my phone screen now I just feel dread.

 

Suddenly we are pulling apart every little fibre of the life we built together and arguing over who gets to keep what.

 

I spend my days alternating between missing you like crazy and wondering how I could have fallen for such a heartless, careless fuckwit.

 

I role over in bed and wish I could warm up my toes on you. Then the pain comes and I hate you for letting me get into this position. If you weren’t ready to share your life with me, then why did you let me fall so hard?

 

We planned future holidays, children, retirement. You took all those dreams away from me in a heartbeat and seem to have done it with such ease.

 

And now you seem intent on making it harder.

 

Any feeling you had for me gone. Any feels I have for you seem to slowly be turning to feelings of hate.

 

I don’t like or recognise who you have become.

 

Was I living in some dreamland?

 

Were you this heartless and cruel all along?

 

Was it all just a lie?

 

I don’t understand how you can treat someone you claimed to love in this manner.

 

Does that mean you never really loved me?

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11 thoughts on “How did ‘we’ become this?

  1. Again I am late and all behind, I have started at the last post and I already see how this WORTHLESS guy is screwing you up. What can I say??? I have got cross with you, my heart heart has broken for you, when will you wake up and see he is a SHIT! You are so special, loving, kind, beautiful. He is an old guy, who had an ego. People lie… He lied! Darling I want you to move on and be happy. What you are waiting and longing for is never going to happen.. He doesn’t want it, like you do, Now you have me in tears because I love you and just want you to be happy . xxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. Sometimes things have to break before you can really walk away. As horrible as it feels if it gets you to truly walk away and start a life clean away, it can be a gift. Just don’t let the pain and the anger linger. Move forward and build something this person could never value.

  3. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and that it is still so raw. One day you will be glad to be shot of him and relief will set in. Him behaving badly will actually help you move on, but it’s still awful and I know it hurts. Time heals. Wankers will always be wankers. Much love xx

  4. Me or him..I stood next to you against them tribunals when no one else was there, now you grass him up for things he didn’t do, we built a life together don’t recognise you

    He probably would have proposed one day had he trusted you more. Where did I go wrong? It haunts me not knowing I don’t want to hear the real reason on a public screen or tribunal

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