Why does the sweet, thoughtful guy you loved become a selfish moron the moment he becomes your ex?

Well if he keeps this up it will become a breeze to forget the loving sweet guy I dated and instead remember the complete and utter moron who broke my heart and then took great glee in stomping all over the little pieces. He’s a twat. I am beyond annoyed with him.

When I left my house, after been thrown out by him I left a lot of my stuff behind. It made sense. I had no need or space for the double bed which I had brought with my from my parents house. I didn’t immediately need the towels, spare sheets, duvet, pillows or any of the other items which I had brought with me. I was going back to my parents and so if I had taken it would all have had to go into storage and so it made sense for him to hang onto it for a short while. Also, I just wasn’t strong enough to split up the sheets or bedding. I didn’t want to, hell I couldn’t go through the items we had bought together only months earlier when we had been filled with so much excitement, when I had been filled with so much hope.

I didn’t want our relationship to become one of arguing over a bed sheet. I couldn’t cope with that.

Truth be told I still can’t cope with it. The last few days have involved taking items out of the house we shared and moving them into the house which is going to be just me. Or (as in most of the cases) donating stuff to a local charity or various family members. I know it is shallow to move it out to give it away, but I know he will move on (my gut feeling is telling me sooner rather than later) the idea of him being with another woman kills me. The idea of that woman being in my house, using my stuff……. so I’ve taken it. Anyway, I digress!

I would like to tell you that he has been helpful, understanding and made this whole situation easier on me. Oh how I would like to tell you that. But the truth is he has argued and refused to understand why it would be easier for me if he wasn’t there; he has used the argument of if he’s not allowed in my new house why should I be allowed unaccompanied into his (which I might add he has no problem with me doing when I’m collecting BD and it suits him! twat)

Our latest argument is over the sheets. The other day I sent him a message asking if he would be willing to go through the bedding, sheets etc and return to me anything that was mine. I don’t want the stuff that was ours, just the bits that were mine from before. He has told me that would be too stressful for him, but I am more than welcome to come and help myself. I then asked if I could come next week, when I’m collecting BD and bring a friend, you know a bit of moral support. Apparently not as he has a ‘friend’ around on the evening I want to come. As a side note he also had a ‘friend’ this time with the friends young family around when I initially suggested picking up my furniture but then on the day sent me a text saying he was going for a 3 hour run, no mention of this friend or his young family! Not that I don’t believe him you understand… Anyway. It would not be convenient for me to go around with my friend while his friend is there. So I suggest he puts everything into a couple of black bin bags, I can throw it all into my car when I pick up BD and then return his stuff when I bring BD back to him. Apparently he is so busy with work that he doesn’t have the time to do even this.

In his defence he has offered to give me the money to buy some new stuff, but that’s not the point I want my  stuff back.


I didn’t want to be in this position. I didn’t want to be arguing our bed sheets or falling out over furniture but here we are. Does he not get that this is still so difficult for me? Why can’t he just make it slightly more bearable by being a little flexible? He wanted this. I did nothing wrong. I didn’t give up on us. Yet I have had to deal with all the fall out while he has buried his head …..and holidayed and partied with his friends.


But just to prove I do listen to comments and advice……. Dawn

Positive: today I had the most lovely lunch which I really enjoyed.

Negative: I do feel it just needs a little bit of chocolate to finish it off and I have none.

Positive: By not being able to eat the chocolate I am craving I can remain thin and spotless. Ok well not spotless but I will pretend!

2 thoughts on “Why does the sweet, thoughtful guy you loved become a selfish moron the moment he becomes your ex?

  1. Thanks for the positive points 😀 I know things are made tougher because he’s being a poop-head. Perhaps he is tired of being nice and just wants the relationship to end already, especially if he has a new “friend”. Sounds mean. Guys just want to cut and run without looking back while us ladies want to hang on. Honestly, we can be too clingy. I’m not saying you are, but perhaps he sees it that way. If you can, get all your stuff that you can out of his house all at once so that you don’t have to go through this hassle again.

    • I am genuinely trying not to be clingy, I have been the dumper in the past and I know have my ex cling was the worst thing. Annoyingly he seems to be very good at becoming slightly more clingy himself just as I’m getting myself together and think I can make the break. Then I get photos, texts….

      He decided to point out yesterday that he wasn’t wanting my stuff out because he is moving someone else in – why he felt this needed saying I don’t know.

      Then to top it all off he made a joke about my taking some of his old stuff he doesn’t want any more too.

      He really doesn’t have a clue!! But it’s done. Stuff officially moved out. That door is closed, now time to open another one!!

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