My ex is an ass. I know it won’t surprise you but it still kinda hurts me. I was never under some illusion that he was perfect, honestly his flaws are a mile long; as I am well aware are my own! However sometimes it takes me by surprise when I realise just how much of an ass he can be.
After a really rough weekend for me which saw me attending the last event that ‘we’ should have attended together and which was booked in the calendar when ‘we’ were still a ‘we’ (I don’t know why that hurts but it does!) I had to contact him to organise collecting the last of my stuff from his house and I asked him to be out of the house for the time it would take me to remove my stuff. Apparently this request was completely unreasonable, and he went off on one. Eventually saying that if he wasn’t going to be allowed in my new house then I wouldn’t be welcome in his. Um, totally not the same I don’t want to visit the house I need to move out the rest of my stuff which I am only moving out because you kicked me out!!!!!! (and breath!)
Anyway. I have been trying to grow a couple of tomato plants in my garden, I have 5 but after a quick chat with my tomato expert friend I am down to 3 as 2 of them have been given a death sentence as they are looking a bit poorly dead and need to be cremated so that whatever has deaded them doesn’t spread to my remaining healthy plants (touch wood they stay that way!)
I’ll be honest my initial thought was to call the ex and ask for his help. He has an outdoor chimney and so he could safely burn my two plants. I got as far as finding his number, but then I had a stern talk with myself. I have to stop thinking I am not capable. I have to stop thinking I can’t do this. I have to stop wanting him to make everything better.
I have thought about it and if I’m careful I should be able to get a small fire burning in the back of my garden. I have a big concrete slab and so (in my head) I should be able to build a small fire on there without doing too much damage. I mean it doesn’t have to be huge or burn for long…..so that is the plan for tonight, along with painting a room, a ceiling and laying some tiles (o I am so running out of time to decorate before the carpets come on Friday!) that I will build a little fire and claim back some of my independence. Just keep everything crossed that this doesn’t go horribly wrong and I end up burning down my new neighbours fence!!
Um… don’t know if I should admit to this. Just tried to heat some popcorn in the oven for a snack…kinda set fire to it….hope this isn’t a sign!!