I forgot. I frigging forgot. I have no idea how. In fact even now I can’t quite believe I was that stupid. I can’t tell you if it was for a few minutes or for a couple of hours, I really don’t know. But somehow I forgot that the ex is my ex. For a short while the pain and heartache went away and I felt butterflies at the idea of him coming back from his holiday. Back to BD. Back to me.
The kicker is I was pasting wallpaper to put on the walls of my shoe room….. in my new house….. in my new house that I only have because he kicked me out. But yet I forgot.
I have done a lot of soul searching this weekend. I had a very interesting conversation with my mum which basically involved her telling me she doesn’t think I’ll ever be over him, she worries about my future and if he has completely broken me and she still can’t accept that we have broken up because, to use her words, “we just seemed to fit together, like two parts of a whole.”
This may sound crazy but it helped to hear her admit that. Not the loving him forever or the worry that I am properly broken, but that we were so right together. That I wasn’t kidding myself. And also that someone else is taking this relationship break-up hard.
Ok granted it would be preferable that it was him, but it’s still helped.