“I have dog care issues”
Yep I just said that to someone to explain why I wasn’t prepare to move a meeting. I think he may have thought I was crazy.
You may remember a little while ago I was toing and froing with the decision to get my own dog. I could see the positives and the negatives and although I decided not to adopt that dog (who is now living on a farm with acres so it work out brilliantly for him!) I think this week has proven to me that I have made the right decision.
As mentioned yesterday the ex has gone on yet another ‘lads holiday’ and so I have the joy and responsibility of having BD for the week. I am yet to pick him up (10 minutes and counting) and yet I am already wracked with guilt and worry about leaving him alone too much this week.
Due to various reasons my diary is a lot quieter than it used to be and so currently my only set in stone commitment is a singing lesson which takes place on a Thursday afternoon and so on paper I am about to embark on a lovely week with lots of BD cuddles. However in reality the Thursday commitment isn’t as low stress as I thought. It takes me just under an hour to get to my lesson, my lesson is at 6, I finish work at 5. Usually not a problem but this week I have to do a 30 minute round trip to pick up BD and then get to my lesson. Due to house commitments I have cancelled my last few singing lessons –I cannot cancel again. Just thinking about it is making me panic about being late, and the guilt that I will be picking BD up to let him have a quick wee, put him in the car and drive to my lesson to then leave him in the boot for half an hour (and that’s before the sun started to shine…!)
Then as luck would have it someone is leaving the company I work for this week and for the first time in all the years I have worked here we are going out as a company for drinks. It is going to be a quick drink in a local pub but I am back to now knowing what to do. Do I leave him for another hour in total alone or do I try and quickly get to him for a quick walk and then either put him in the car for half n hour while I socialise and network or do I leave him alone at the house where it would be cooler but he has an hour alone? Or do I just give my apologies?
I have no-one up here I can ask. I have no one who can help me out. I feel guilty even considering having a bit of a life this week. And that’s before we look at Saturday where due to piss poor planning from myself I have agreed to support two friends and a race they are running, and watch their kids while they run. I didn’t put two and two together until last week and now I don’t know what to do. It’s going to be a mad busy day, and the weather forecast predicts sun, so I know it will stress out BD. Add to that there will be idiot people letting their dogs do whatever they want and I know it will stress out me. I want to kid myself that taking him will help with his training and build his confidence – but I’m lying. My folks have offered to watch BD for me so I can go to this event for a few hours, and asked if I can add a few more kids to the total I am looking after – I’m now taking my nieces in exchange for the dog sitting! But I feel guilty.
So at least I can now be certain that as much as it breaks my heart thinking of all those dogs in rescues wanting needing a forever home I am not in a position to offer one. Not yet. So I have to work hard, give in other ways and hope that the future Mr Right is as much of a dog nut as me!