I was wrong.

I assumed that ‘dating’ (I use that loosely, it should read going on dates) the ‘pregnant goldfish’ would be a safe way for me to dip my toe back into the dating pool without anyone getting hurt. I had been completely honest with him from the start and assumed that he wouldn’t fall for me and I was pretty certain I wouldn’t fall for him. I assumed we would have a bit of a laugh together and no-one would get hurt.

I was wrong.

Turns out even having a guy you’re not interested in cancelling on you does hurt….especially when he cancels on you twice.

The first time he cancelled I was more annoyed. There was a lack of a good reason and it was slightly bruised ego. Just because I was interested in him doesn’t mean that he can’t be interested in spending time with me. But this second time really hurts. I can’t help but wonder what it is in me that means that guys just don’t want to spend time with me. At least this time he gave a reason (proof that men can learn) but I’m not sure I believe him.

The annoying thing is looking back on the previous date I was tempted to cancel. In fact anyone I have told about the date has told me to run a mile at high speed. But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I didn’t want him to feel rejected and so knowing we would have a laugh I thought go out to eat, split the bill, then explain that you just want friendship.

I knew getting back in the saddle was going to be tricky. I knew that it would take time, and heartache, but I didn’t know that the hurt would happen so soon; makes me doubt even more if want to get back on the horse at all.

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8 thoughts on “I was wrong.

  1. Here’s my thought, (not that you asked or anything, but you do know me.) 😉

    Better to find out now that he’s an ass than say 6 months from now when you’ve become invested in him. I know it stings, and that sucks, but he so does not deserve you!! And YOU, YOU deserve and are worth better!!

    • Always glad to have your thoughts!!

      The guy was a complete ass and I know it wouldn’t have gone any further. However I thought we’ll go out to dinner, split the bill and then ‘thanks but not thanks’. I didn’t want to risk hurting his feeling by cancelling something already planned – clearly he did not care so much!!

  2. Listen to Jodi. She’s very smart. 🙂

    When I was dating (many, many years ago), I remember having a great time when a big group of friends got together to go out. It was nonthreatening. It was full of laughs. And it was a great way to learn more about people I was thinking about seeing one-on-one.

    Be social. But maybe while you’re heart is still bruised, take even less risk by “dating” in groups.

    And know you’re valuable and precious no matter what your dating life looks like now.

    • Thank you so very much!! I think it just proves that maybe I’m not in a dating place yet. Take time for me, sort my house, improve my blog, then try again.

      I just hoped that having fun (it wasn’t going to become a long term relationship) would help me get over the ex.

  3. He isn’t worth worrying about, or feeling hurt by his actions. I know that’s easy to say, but it’s true – his thoughtlessness does not reflect on you.

  4. This sounds like a tough journey to be on 😦 In order to find a real, loving relationship you’ve got to be vulnerable and that means that you might be open to hurt. Sounds to me as though this guy wasn’t worth any heartbreak and your’e better off out of it but one day it will be worth it 🙂

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