If I’m honest I am struggling a little. Getting my house ready is taking over my life. My daily routine is alarm clock…hit the snooze button….hit the snooze button….hit the snooze button..take into account that this is the last time it will go off so force myself awake and wait until an acceptable time to get out of bed. I don’t know about you but I will only get up at 6.40, 6.45, 6.50 etc if I am for 6.45 and look at my clock and it says 6.46 well I juts have to lie in bed until 6.50. Just me??
At the moment this little wake up routine sees me jump into the shower and throw on some closes in just under 10 minutes. I stopped wearing make up for work and stuff about the time of the break up. I was hoping it would help sort out my skin, it hasn’t massively but I’m not bothered about switching back, it’s a little liberating and now I have a slightly healthy colour so on days when my skin is playing ball I quite like the ‘natural beauty’ thing! I grab my handbag and my lunch and head out the door. Work until lunchtime. Then try and come up with something witty and insightful to say whilst I eat my lunch, try to catch up with blogger friends. Realise I should have been researching something for the house, abandon catching up with people or my post and sort out ‘important grown up job’. Feel bad for not giving you guys the time and effort you deserve.
Finish lunch, work till home time. Try to get out of the door at work as close to home time as possible and head to the house. Do some form of DIY until Dad arrives with my tea (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, currently my dad is cooking and bringing my tea to me at the house). Do DIY until about 8pm, clean up til 8.30pm head back to folks house about 9.20pm. Say hello to mum and Mity and as I currently have the mother of all colds go to bed.
I feel that I should be doing better with so many aspects of my life right now. My friends are amazing, but seeing them means a night away for the house and so they are all on hold until my house is sorted, unless it’s their birthday in which case the house goes on hold. My job does not inspire me, hence the morning routine and I feel stuck.
I want me life to matter. I want to feel that it matters that I wake up in the morning but right now I feel everything is on hold. I want to do more with my blog, I want to do more with my life. But I have responsibilities now..I have bills and a mortgage and so I cross another day out of my diary and move onto the next one.
I want more than this. I need to step up… but I don’t know what I am stepping up too!