Saturday night (part 2)

It was a good job I had poured myself that glass of wine as things started to go down hill pretty rapidly. I explained to the girls we were going for the smart/ casual look, which went onto a second conversation explaining what smart/casual means (look at me shaping young minds!!). Inspired by a full understanding of the brief the girls took great delight in pulling out every item of their mothers clothing and offering it to me to try on.

Due to having poly cystic ovaries, liking food and loathing sit ups I struggle with weight around my middle. This is something that has always annoyed me as my arms, shoulders and legs are skinny(ish) and I have recently lost my double chin due to my cycling obsession. However, I am very aware of that I have a “muffin top” and so when deciding what to wear I always want to ensure that my stomach is hidden. I do not want to be one of those woman that people look at and think “she’s kidding herself she’s that size” or “if she’d have only gone a size bigger that would have really suited her”. So when trying on the different outfits I did some in head criticisms of how I looked.

I was very aware that I did not want the two girls to over hear me criticising myself. I don’t want to be responsible for them doing the same thing in years to come, and I know my body is not as bad as I think it is in my head. However I must have let some comment slip through my lips because soon, with each different outfit, as I stood assessing myself in the mirror, I was told “look at your belly in that”, “do you think your too chubby for that one too?” then as I was handed outfits “do you think you’ll fit into this one” or “this one looks bigger”. It all become too much when I was finally told “that one doesn’t even do up” to which I responded with a slightly short “that’s because I have boobs and your mother doesn’t”.

I have to say when I finally found an outfit I was happy with I was not feeling the 1000$ I was hoping I would. But don’t worry the girls didn’t just help build up my confidence before hitting the town as when my friend got out the shower her eldest looked at her and let out a very loud “yuck mummy what have you done to your face.”

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