When I left my old house I poured my heart into a letter which I wrote for him. I got everything off my chest, told him to man up and not to be so afraid. To be honest i don’t remember everything I wrote, which is a bloody pain cause in his letter of return he put “I agree with everything you said.” Had I known I would have needed to refer back to the letter at a later date I would have made a copy!
But I never wrote a letter to BD, partly because I would move hell and high water to see him again and knew that it would never be goodbye..oh and there is the obvious of him not being able to read.
When I stumbles across this link on Oz’s blog this seemed like a brilliant time to write that letter.
My darling boy,
Where do I start with telling you how much I love you, or how much it is breaking my heart in two knowing that I will not be spending every day with you any more. I love you for so many reasons. I love the way you are so happy to see me, but are never quite confident in how you will greet me. I love that you are timid and shy, but once you let someone in you love them with the whole of your heart. I love you for all those evenings I sat and cried and you stayed by my side as your fur got wet. I love that you overcame your ‘issues’ of having people around your face to lick my tears from my cheek.
I love you for all the millions of happy memories we have together and that you have given me 101 new experiences. I love that when you are around I can’t take a wee without having a cold nose pressed up against my leg. I love that that you claimed the cleaning cloth as your own and it became one of your favourite toys to be played with whenever possible regardless of where we were – including in the shower.
I love that you are tennis ball obsessed, and that you possibly love them more than me. I love that you will sit and stare at a ball for hours willing it to be thrown. I love that whatever crazy adventure I take us on, you are there at my side seeing it through together.
I love you for challenging me to step up and do better. I love you for being the complete opposite of Mity in every single way.
I love that you actually smile and that every single time you smile at me I can’t help but smile back. I love that you are fiercely loyal to your dad (any chance of talking some sense into him?)
I love that you love me, and that you have started checking back with me when you’re not sure. I love how far we have come together and look forward to seeing where we are going to go next.
I love you in a way that I never thought possible, and that is why I will not cut you out of my life, regardless of the heartache it causes.
Love you always,