What can I say, this last week has been madly busy, stressful, had highs and lows…but I have loved every single second of it so far! I have owned my little house for just over 2 weeks now, (although I was away for one, so that doesn’t really count!) and the change in me in this time is mad. I feel more empowered than I have in a long time, possibly ever, and I love it!!!
The move hasn’t gone exactly as I had planned, or hoped. In fact the move hasn’t happened. On getting into the house properly it became pretty obvious pretty quickly that the house is in a worse state than I originally thought and so I am having to completely gut the house prior to me moving in. I’ll be honest, being able to put my own stamp on my house straight away is lovely, but I had hoped to move in and save for a few years before having to totally gut the house and my finances are not loving this DIY thing as much as I am!
My first few visits to my house I was a little unsure about what I was going to do. I would discuss every step with my folks, who have been amazing, and listen to their views and opinions and kinda do things their way. However, one evening when I was in there alone, I had the lightening bolt moment of realising that this is my house. Mine alone. I can do exactly what I want to it. And so I did. I started pulling the damp wallpaper off by hand. I have to admit it is addictive and I loved it. I also loved that I was doing it. I wasn’t asking my dad (or him) to help me with something, bowing down to their greater knowledge, or accepting that guys just kinda do DIY while I help. You know the holding the paint pot, or passing the power tool, or watching them take down the curtain rail which is in the way so I can continue to strip. (Not either of them would not let me, but we just seemed to assume the stereotypical man and woman roles!)
I was making up what I was doing as I went along, doing it alone, and you know what…. I was doing ok.
Over this last week my confidence has continue to grow. I have haggled over prices with workmen. I have removed curtain rails, doors, shelves and tonight a radiator, all by myself (ok my dad will be aiding me tonight, but that’s more because despite the man on YouTube doing it alone, I think removing the radiator is a two person job!). I have taken down random bits of wood, and organised for an electrician to teach me how to wire in new electric lights. So far in my house nothing has happened that I haven’t done myself – and it’s amazing!
I am now going to the other side where when people offer to help I shy away from the offer. This is my house and I want to… I need to… do it alone.
I’m not at the point of thanking him for putting me in this position, but I am feeling sorry for my friends who have moved from the family home to a house with their boyfriends and husbands as they (I hope) will never have to do this alone. And part of me envies their successful relationships, and having some to cuddle up to in an evening and holiday with. But going it alone in my house isn’t half bad!!!
I know I am going to come across challenges and that I won’t always be this pumped. In fact when I couldn’t get one stubborn screw out I burst into tears because I still miss him. But I am so amazed by the change in me in the last few weeks, I am excited to see how I will continue to grow over the next few months!!