Enough already!

It’s only Tuesday and already this week is keeping my arse. I’ve spent more Valentines days single than I have in a relationship and I know that it’s just a mass over commercialised holiday but it still sucks that I’m alone. I knew that after the loveliness that was last year. We treated ourselves to a box at the opera, with a red rose, champagne and a night at a hotel. It was lovely. I’m still struggling to comprehend that that was less than 12 months ago.

This week has seen a big family meal and a family birthday both of which has seen me doubled over in the bathroom sobbing uncontrollably. I don’t want to move on. I know I deserve better. I know that some of the stunts he pulled should have had me kicking him out, in fact I often wondered if he was being an ass to see if I would leave but I still want him and my life with him.

I’m about to start the next chapter of my life, I’ve sort of got a completion date for the house, but in my head when I move I’m going home, to my lovely house in the country, where I had bd every night and came home to him. But I’m not and it’s killing me

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6 thoughts on “Enough already!

  1. Events like that can be difficult, they are reminders of previous times.
    It is sometimes harder to give up our idea of someone and what they mean than it is to give up the actual flawed person.

  2. 😥 It is so hard to move on in the beginning. Hang in there. Try not to get bogged down on the V-day. It is just a day that the church made up a long time ago in order to try to get people to come to church rather than celebrate their pagan holidays. My husband and I don’t celebrate this, especially because of all the commercialism.

    • My parents never have and I used to get a card from BD but nothing from him. Last year was a one off which we treated ourselves to the occasion rather than it being valentines day – does that make sense??!

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