Men are liars. Not all men, just those that breathe in and out and let sound escape from between their lips! Ok I exaggerate slightly. My daddy is certainly not a liar, neither is my immediate family (although I wouldn’t say it is completely free of knob head men) and I do have some brilliant friends. In fact until recently I had mainly male friends, as I always found them easier to get along with than woman, but that came to an end when they all developed girlfriends. Turns out some girlfriends are not so happy with you hanging out with that girl you once drunkenly pulled at a party. And I know from reading your blogs that you have managed to find some very lovely significant others whom you share your life with, and I only go a very slight shade of green when I read all about it! ;0)
However seeing the very different way that men and woman seem to deal with heart-break I can’t help but feel that womankind in general should be allowed to take out a man or two, with their car, as some sort of service to society! For example, I am currently watching two break-ups play out. For one of them the man ended the relationship (couple a) for the other it was the woman (couple b). When both relationships ended the dumpee of the relationship said that they would give the dumper some space to decide exactly what was needed. And both agreed that they both stated that they wanted the relationship to be re-kindled and that they would wait and love the dumper for as long as it takes.
Fast forward 4 months and couple b have had some space apart and the dumper has said that the space was exactly what was needed and they would like to re-kindle the romance. However turns out the dumpee was lying slightly when he claimed to love the dumper forever, and has started what he is describing as a serious romance with another woman. I am not in any way judging him for rebounding or even for not wanting to take the dumper back, but to introduce this woman to family, friends, and children so soon after a break up and after such a short space of time???
Now we examine couple a. Again when the relationship was ended the promises were made, and the idea to work it through was promised. In fact when the lady from couple a expressed her annoyance that after all the promises, all the exclamations of love, he was walking away so easily she was told “but this is my way of fighting for us.” Yet where is the evidence? The dumpee in this scenario spent weeks agonising and analysing the end of the relationship. She looked back over the last four years for evidence of where everything went wrong. How in less than a year the relationship could change from “I love you more than I ever thought possible” to “you need to get out my house.” She cried herself to sleep for months, and even now something tiny can set her off. She knows that time will heal everything, but even this scares her as this means losing the connection with the guy who was her world. Everything she packed up when leaving the house she thought carefully about, would the memories be too hard? And much of it she just walked away from. Meanwhile he has gone out and added to the kitchen collection that they were slowly buying together. The items that they had spent months deciding on for a pattern, the first things they bought together for the house. To begin with it was just small useful things, an inside compost bin to replace the one she had taken, a utensil jar, but now it’s egg cups, cream jugs and a sugar bowl…..he doesn’t even take sugar!!
I can’t help but feel that he has been lying to me. Probably not intentionally, he was probably lying to himself as well. But I cannot understand how after 4 years and ‘I love you more than any other relationship’ he can be so fine in such a short space of time. Either the ‘I love you’ was bull or his claim that he was fighting for us was.