It’s the 30th of January and I’m already sick to the death of Valentines Day. I knew this year would be shit; I knew I was going to be anti love and romance for a while. I knew that everyone complains that shops start bringing in their themed gifts far too early and so it wouldn’t just be about surviving the 14th. But my god people and companies are really starting to take the piss!
You might ask what has unleashed this hatred of companies? well I will tell you. I was just reading a very lovely blog all about why you should switch to a tablet (computer thing not actually tablets, although they may be more help!) and this company created a fun little info-graphic explaining how to survive Valentines day.
Surprisingly their valentines survival tips were not got massively drunk, learn how to make voodoo dolls and remember it’s only one day created to make money by some faceless corporation. Instead they decided to point out how having a tablet will make Valentines day just super special and perfect. I am not going to link to it, because I hate them and will not give it further publicity – ha ha! Take that and feel my wrath!
The Valentines Survival List was:
1. Have Champagne and listen to music – Not a bad tip. I will. But I will listen to it on my ipod which has never judged me for being single and alone!
2. Cook a special dinner together – again this did not make me want to kill them. However the idea that anyone would be ok with spilling sauce on their tablet because they are just ‘so loved up’. If i do this I will be using my none judgmental, stained many times over, cooking books!
3. Surprise your partner by showing romantic photos on the TV. – Now we are starting to get a little bit close to the nerve. I don’t have a partner and currently any attempt to view our old holiday photos results in tears and a howl. This one I will give a miss!
4. Capture magical moments by taking photos – seriously who does that? And surely because of convenience you would reach for your phone?! Your friendly, number of the prat deleted, phone. When I was in love and snuggling on the sofa my tablet was safely away in case I knock it off the arm or something as it cost a small fortune!!
5. Watch a film together in bed – If iIam watching a film I will do it on the 11 inch TV in my bedroom that was bought for the purpose not try and see it on a small screen. I’m sorry but sometimes size does matter!
They then finish by suggesting if you don’t have a tablet the above were reasons why you should race out and buy one now. Who wants chocolate, flowers or a thought about personalised gift hey?
Next year, when I am loved up, living in my dream house with prince charming and all our money, if he hands me a lovingly selected and gift wrapped present to celebrate our first valentines day together, and it turns out to be a tablet to do fun, romantic activities with……. I will shy it at his head!!!