Ok yes I am going back there, I tried not to, I didn’t want my blog or life to revolve around my break-up and more importantly I am very much aware I am dancing down the line of being slightly boring but I had an epiphany this weekend and I am afraid I am going to have to share it with you.
I had a lovely weekend, Friday night I had BD for a few hours, which I loved every second of. We cuddle and play and he was even allowed to take him muzzle of for a while (Mity was cuddled up on the sofa next to my dad) and BD only panics if dogs come into his face so he was allowed to play with Mitys toys for a while and he loved every second of it. He squeaked a plastic cupcake to death (Mity looked at him like he was a dog possessed) and played fetch until his dad came to take him home.
Saturday I went for a my morning bike ride – I have found a little circuit that I do which has a couple of hills and takes me about an hour. I love it, have officially become hooked on cycling to the extent that this Saturday I donned waterproof clothing before going out because, yes I am one of those crazy bike people who done lycra and cycle in the rain – I have no idea how that happened! Saturday night a good friend came by and we ate far too much good food – allowed though because I had had my bike ride that morning.
Sunday morning I went for a 3 hour walk with a friend (I am suffering from this today, and am hobbling like a woman possessed!) before nipping to the shops and having tea with my family. However it was on Sunday I had this epiphany….
I don’t need OH in my life – I thought I did but I have friends husbands who are going to help out with my cycling needs, I have friends who want to walk for hours with me at the weekend, I am even learning how to get through the night with a hot water bottle instead of him.
But I want him there, something funny happens and go for my phone to tell him, I visit places and want to share them with him, I see something advertised on TV and think I must remember to set it up to record.
What do you do when you want something you can’t have? I don’t need OH for my life to function, but having him in my life means I am living a life I love rather than just functioning!
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I’m sorry. But you will find your way through. And you will find a way to live a life you love, whether it’s with OH or with someone else.
I know – just doesn’t feel like it at the moment!
You’re beginning to find your feet again and that’s a good thing. If your life is to be without him, you will gradually miss him less.
I hope so!!
Clowie is one smart dog!
It’s gonna hurt a bit when you realize you don’t miss him anymore, but it’ll be relieving.
So we all think I am going to win him back! :0)