How to have a weekend like mine:
- Stay late at work to catch up on mountain of paper work which has built up to due to a two week holiday.
- Drive half hour commute home (getting stuck behind idiot who only ever drives at 40 mph regardless of speedlimit!)
- Throw tea down my neck as racing out to a fundraising quiz.
- Pack bags for weekend with blokey (I hate packing and am the worlds worst packer) ensuring to pack more than you need so everyone looking at your overnight bag will assume you are leaving home.
- Race to fundraiser to find out the friend you were meeting for a good catch up (and honestly the main reason you were going) wasn’t coming.
- Finish quiz at 10.30pm and race to blokeys house.
- Find blokey isn’t at house and instead go to meet him at a local club (11pm) & relax.
- Have a well deserved lie in
- Take dog for walk – remember just before putting walking boots on, but having driving to walk location (it was a long way from blokeys home, I am not just lazy!) that walking boots broke on holiday and I am missing 1/3 of my sole.
- Decide to set off on walk, but as not feeling 100% don’t point out to blokey that he has decided not to follow the path and end up wandering around water logged fields aimlessly!
- Misjudge what you think is a reed bed, and rather than jumping onto a firm surface end up in water and other substances you would rather not identify up to your ankles!
- On pulling foot out with broken sole, ensure you have a sole full of above mentioned yuck and flick it over your back!
- Continue on walk, despite sole getting worse.
- Once only 1/3 of sole is attached to shoe, ensure you get sole stuck under boot and when flicking foot to release sole cover the front half of you in the above mentioned yuck!
- Decide to abandon walk, and head into town to purchase new pair or walking boots.
- Realise on route to town you did not bring your purse with you as you were going on a walk (something which rarely happens) and smile sweetly at blokey.
- Get to town and remember your socks are brown as your broken walking boots leaked, borrow blokeys socks.
- Find pair you like with amazing discount on and discover there is a loose stitch which runbs your heal, decide you can mend shoes at home but try and get a discount (succeed) but have this discount cause massive chaos at the tills.
- Go to visit relatives and play with two young neices (3 and 6 years old).
- Take them for a walk, when heading home watch in horror as littlest neice falls while skipping and outs teeth through lips! Despite best efforts to comfort carry screaming child home.
- Try to sort tea.
- Finally get screaming child to stop scream and have big sister of scream child show you her wobbley tooth which has just fallen out.
- Try to find loose change for tooth fair (in case she is as rubbish as you and forgot her purse) and appropriate safe place to put tooth.
- Have blokey turn up to take you home and save your day
- Do shopping
- Walk dog (with some training – different story!)
- Sort out lunch
- Race to drama rehersal for upcoming show, being organised to take flask, however enure flask leaks so you end up throwing tea all over self twice!
- Arrive back at blokeys, start to sort out tea, have cupboard fall off wall above you while cooking!
- Stop cooking to empty cupboard and then hold the half of the cupboard which has fallen while blokey tries to pull the other half of wall.
- Succeed in removing cupboard, resume cooking tea and relax
Did anyone else have an eventful weekend?